Moms Time Out! – Do What You Enjoy!

You have probably heard this a countless number of times! “Take time out”, do something you enjoy and before you go away from my post, I would like to tell you that I didn’t believe in this or understand this until a couple of years ago ! I have been told again and again and again by the family to take time out, and I was just as bored as you are, listening to me saying the same thing! What is Moms time out ?

Doing something of your own, on your own .. without hubby and kids!

Go out of the house!

Choose a hobby or an activity which will take you out of the house. This is very important because you need to change your environment. Playing a computer game at home cannot be considered time out !

Choose a hobby or an activity

If your friends are busy or you do not have any friends, enrol in a fitness class or a hobby club. If you choose a fitness club like Yoga or Pilates or Zumba, you will get the exercise too ! Exercise will also drive the boredom out of you. This is especially important for new mums, who are on maternity break from work to look after their baby.

It is very hard to adjust from being a working person to be a stay-at-home mom. Exercise will give you some stimulation as well as help you reduce post birth weight!

Be Disciplined

It is easy to enrol for some class and then not go for few lessons either because you are too tired or your child is sick. Try to get someone to look after your child maybe your partner while you got for your class. Don’t feel guilty about it! Remember mothers are humans too and they need a break too from looking after their children.

Don’t forget the more lessons you miss , the more money you will waste!

Think of yourself too

You might give an excuse, like I can’t afford it or I don’t have the energy or I have no one to look after my baby, then you need to learn to think of yourself. This is one of the biggest mistakes I have made since I became a mother.

I have been a mother for nearly 8 years and since last few months, I have really started to think for myself. It is hard and I keep going back to my old habit but I push myself to think for me. I am not saying that you become totally selfish and not think of your child or your family at all.

But it is ok to do somethings for yourself – I cannot forget that I am Priya first and a mother or a wife afterwards. If you do something for yourself, do not feel guilty.

Visit to the Cinema

Just to have some time out from kids and cooking and cleaning, I just go to the cinema and watch a movie on my own! It is a good way to spend time on your own! Don’t depend on or wait for anyone to go to the movies with you!

Go out with friends

Get your partner to look after your child and have a night out with your friends! It is easy to start talking about your kids all the time but reduce children talk for a little while at least.

Spend time with your spouse

From my previous post, how to keep your marriage strong after kids, it is imperative you spend time with your spouse without the children. If you can get someone to look after your kids, you and your spouse can go for out dinner. You not only get to spend quality time with each other, but also it will be time out for you!

Everybody needs to have fun in life

Everybody should have fun in life. That’s what life is about. Do not put yourself down by not thinking of your own happiness. Everybody needs a break from time to time. Do not be hard on yourself. You do not have to clean everything or wash all the clothes in one day. Motherhood should not stop you from having fun.

Make your life normal as much as possible

The first year is very crucial and hard for a mother. After the first year, try to bring normalcy in your life. Think of yourself at times. Try to make your life as much as you can as it was before you had the baby. The longer you leave the harder it will get, to find yourself again after childbirth.

Re- discover your identity

It is very easy to just think of the child or do things for the child or children all the time. Do something for yourself. For example if you were a career woman before you had children but now are unable or would not like to go to work, then do something of your own from home. Please see my previous post on stay at home mom business ideas here.

Conclusion

It took me a long time to figure out all the above after I had children. Therefore, if you are expecting your first child or just had a child, make sure you do the above. I would like it very much if you were to gain from my experience!

Would you like to share your thoughts on moms taking time out? Is it hard for you to take time out? Do you take time out frequently? Do you think of yourself at all? Share your thoughts via comment box below.

Regards

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Best Way To Lose Weight After Pregnancy -How Do You Do It?

Every mother including you and me are in a rush to lose weight after pregnancy and childbirth. Your body doesn’t feel yours anymore! Your stomach feels like a huge balloon that has started deflating ! Even though you feel blessed with your baby, you do wish your body would go back to the way it was before you conceived! Let me warn that is never going to happen- at least not totally. But you can lose majority of your weight. So what is the best way to lose weight after pregnancy?

Breastfeeding

Breast is the best, for both mother and child. After giving birth, I was so disappointed when I saw that my bump had reduced so marginally .. I almost thought there is another baby inside me! Once I started breastfeeding, my bump (post birth) started reducing so quickly and so did my overall body weight ! Breastfeeding is the best way to lose weight immediately after child birth .

You need to give your body time to recover

All of us mothers are always in a rush to lose weight after having kids, maybe to rediscover our own identity ! Don’t forget that having had a baby growing inside you and then going through childbirth is very traumatic for the mothers body. A big part of the nutrients are taken by the baby and you also lose a lot during childbirth.

Importance of eating a healthy diet post child birth

After childbirth, a mothers body literally falls apart. Therefore, it is important to eat lot of fruits and vegetables everyday(five a day) . Also, omega-3 is an important nutrient during pregnancy and after childbirth. It is important to keep yourself hydrated (water is preferable to juices and fizzy drinks).

Do not diet

Do not diet, if you have just given birth. In fact, do not diet at all. If you are breastfeeding make sure you have a balanced diet and drink lots of water .

Don’t be too hard on yourself

It is normal to put on weight after pregnancy, even as much as 15 kilograms. Lose the weight slowly and steadily. When you stop breastfeeding, keep a note of how much you are eating. It is very easy to fall into a habit of eating too much after you stop breastfeeding. Stop eating when your stomach is full- listen to the signs when your stomach says “stop eating”!

Daily routine

Running around and tending to your child’s needs or doing cooking, cleaning or laundry will automatically bring down your weight. Keep your body moving as much as you can . In the summer holidays, I used to take my children scootering, they scooter, I jog or brisk walk. If the weather is dry and warm, you can do it every day- that will burn a lot of calories. So entertainment for kids and exercise for you (mother)! Fresh air is a bonus!

Smoothies

I also make vegetable juices, which helps losing weight. Do not put any fruit. If you have to put fruit, put a very minimal amount. The sugar in the fruit does not help with the weight loss. You can use a smoothie maker like Nutribullet. See my review of Nutribullet 600 and get your 5 a day in minutes!

Exercises

Exercise as soon as you feel your body is ready. Cesarean section takes 6 weeks healing time and you cannot do intensive exercises or swimming for 6 months after birth. 

Choose a form exercise that you feel you can continue in the long run. For example if you start doing very intensive workouts and lose tons of weight in a short span of time, the moment you stop doing the workouts, you will start putting the weight back on!

I started with brisk walks to lose weight, and I did lose a lot of weight including belly fat. Now I have moved on to yoga, to reduce belly fat further.

So the important factor here is to lose weight gradually. After you reach your desired level of weight, you still need to do some form of exercise every day .

It will require determination and will power

It is never easy to lose weight especially not after pregnancy, the later you leave it, the harder it will get. It will be easier to follow a routine of exercise after your youngest child starts school. If you persevere, follow a balanced diet and keep yourself hydrated(with water) you should see results.

Conclusion

Enjoy the time with your baby/child. Don’t feel guilty every time you eat. Work hard towards losing weight. Avoid junk food as much as you can!

What are your experiences with losing weight after child birth ? How did you lose the weight? If you would like to share your tips or experiences, share via comment box below. I would love to hear from you !

Regards

 

Do Our Kids Have Too Much Homework- Is this a Concern for Parents of Primary School Kids?

Both my kids are in primary school and sometimes I feel so stressed and pressurised to finish all their spellings, home learning, times table etc, etc. It is also imperative that they do daily reading. How can a parent manage this every week with more than one child some of which I feel is quite unnecessary.  Then I ask myself “do our kids have too much homework? Is this home work necessary?”

Should Homework be given at all?

Some parents believe that their kids should be given tons of homework. They believe that a school can be considered “good” only if they give lots of homework every single day! Others believe that kids shouldn’t be given any homework at all in the primary school !

According to an article in the Telegraph by Olivia Goldhill, a primary school in New York stopped all homework assignments. But this didn’t go down very well with the parents, they didn’t take it positively .

Homework, a proof of study for the school?

Are the schools trying to prove to the parents how much they make the children study through the homework? For example, when my child comes home with her maths homework, I can see what she has learnt in maths that week and when she does her homework I can see how much knowledge she has gained on a particular topic or whether she has understood the concept/topic at all or not.

So even if the schools are trying to provide proof or reassurance to parents who love homework, homework actually helps  parents to know how much their child has understood a particular topic.

A form of communication

Through the above example, the school and parent and communicate with each other, in what topics is the child weak in? Which one is he/she good at? Which topic requires more practice or a better understanding?

Homework done by parent or child?

With homework, there is always the chance that the parent simply cannot be bothered to sit down with the child and make them do their homework. In order to save time they might just do the homework themselves and thus the purpose of homework is completely defeated.

As per my previous post , parents helping with homework, I have outlined why homework needs to be completed by the child and not the parent.

Quantity over quality

The issue for me is quantity of homework. Spellings , maths every week and home learning coming in every 2 weeks ! My daughter gets times table test every week too so that has to be learnt as well. She gets spellings which she doesn’t know the meaning of . The school should give spellings only of words the children are likely or expected to use at their age – words of which they would understand the meaning of.

Pressure on teachers to mark the homework?

Do teachers actually get time to mark all this homework? How would the teacher know if the homework has been done by the child or parent? If the homework is beyond the capacity of the child, most parents would be tempted to do the homework themselves!

Reading

Reading should be encouraged among primary school kids but they shouldn’t be given unreasonable number of books to read in order to get an award or appreciation from the school.

Mug up spellings and times tables

Complex spellings and times tables are given every week. So in case they do not know the meaning of the word, they just have to learn it without really understanding what it means. What is the point of this kind of education? Similarly, for times tables. , barely they have been able to understand the concept of multiplication, to expect them to know their times tables is too much !

As per an article on the BBC News website dated March 2012, the government guidelines for homework have been scrapped which means that the head of the school can decide how much homework should be given.The article also included something of interest to me, which is below:

Conclusion

Homework is necessary to consolidate the child’s learning but it should not pressurise or stress the children and the parents. Quality learning over quantity. Children should be allowed to enjoy their childhood too. Schools should keep in mind what is average level of the children before setting the homework.

Giving large amounts of complicated homework to young children, undermines their confidence. Also, it serves no purpose if the parents do the homework on their children’s behalf.

What are your thoughts on primary school kids getting too much homework? Or kids getting homework way beyond their capacity or understanding? Shouldn’t we let kids be kids? Share via comment box below.

Regards

 

 

Moms Breastfeeding in Public – Yes or No?

Moms breastfeeding in public is considered to be a taboo by some. Mothers exposing their breasts is considered a shameful thing by others. Some mothers feel embarrassed to expose their breasts in a public place. When I used to breastfeed my children, I realised that there are so many places which do not have a lactation room or a nursing area !

Even though medical professionals encourage breastfeeding our society doesn’t accept mothers breastfeeding in the public fully. Does that mean that the society thinks that breastfeeding mothers should stay at home the whole time the baby is breastfeeding ? Many a times mothers breastfeeding in public have been asked to cover up!

Peeping Toms

A bottle-fed baby can drink their milk in the public but a breastfed baby cannot. The way around this is cover yourself with a blanket, so your breasts aren’t exposed. I have breastfed my kids in the car and used the muslin to cover myself. My husband also stood in front of the car to prevent people from peeping inside!

But that didn’t deter people from looking – and it wasn’t a glance. They knew I was nursing my baby- all the more reason to look- women included -which I think was quite disgusting ! Breastfeeding is a very natural thing yet people keep staring at the mother and the baby and make them feel uncomfortable!

UK Laws on Breastfeeding in public

Breastfeeding in public is supported by the government in the UK. Have a look at a snapshot taken from the website https://www.theukrules.co.uk

Some women find it embarrassing to breastfeed in public

Some women find it embarrassing to breastfeed in public. It could be because they are not sure if, by law they are allowed to breastfeed in public or they feel that people will look if they breastfeed in public. I have noticed that though people feel that breastfeeding is a natural thing and that a baby should be breastfed, they feel uncomfortable if a woman is breastfeeding in a public place!

According to the website, www.gov.uk, more than third of the women shy away from breastfeeding in public and 1 in 5 feels that other people do not want them to breastfeed in public.

Some women might think that breastfeeding is a private thing

Some women, might feel that breastfeeding should only be done in private as it is a bonding time between mum and the baby or they might feel embarrassed to breastfeed their baby in the presence of their male relatives for example fathers or father-in-law or brother in laws.

Breastfeeding for working Women

Employers do not have to provide time off for breastfeeding. So some employers might feels that a woman is wasting Company time breastfeeding ! Unless the women express the milk earlier and store it in a fridge- and then the baby is bottle-fed by the nanny or whoever is looking after the baby.

Therefore, working women might feel discouraged to breastfeed if their employer doesn’t provide them with flexible hours.

There are special covers available for breastfeeding and nursing tops

There are special breastfeeding covers available for breastfeeding with a nice floral print with which you can cover yourself. Have a look at these covers here. But some people would still figure out that you are breastfeeding. Also, there are nursing tops available which might make it easier for you to breastfeed in private or public. You won’t have to remove your top and bra every time you breastfeed you baby. In case, you use a breastfeeding cover,make sure you take it with you every time you go out with your baby.

“Do not stop breastfeeding just so you can go out more often. Breastfeeding in public is your right as a mother”

If you haven’t breastfed before

If you are expecting your first child or have never breastfed before, there are drop-in breastfeeding clinics available (in the UK) , this will give you a good practice to breastfeed outside of your home. Even if you are experiencing difficulties breastfeeding your child, you can get help from the midwives and health visitors in the clinic.

Plan Ahead

When I had my babies, I always used to try to go out between feed times to avoid breastfeeding in public(as I used to feel embarrassed to do so) . Also, if it wasn’t possible to go in between feed times and my baby was awake, I would put her/him on my breast in case they wanted to be fed. It is best to plan ahead whenever you want to go out.

The first few trips

After the birth of you baby, when you go out of the house for the first few times, take someone with you like your partner or your mother while you are still learning how to handle your baby as well as breastfeed him/her. It will take practice if you live in a cold country and have a winter baby like I did. Then you would have to peel of all the layers over yourself and your baby before the baby can be put on the breast.

With practice it will become very easy for both of you,you and your baby.

What are you views on breastfeeding in public? Have you ever breastfed in public? What has you experience been ? Please share via comment box below.

Regards

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Smoking is Injurious To Health – Of Smokers children!

Couple of days ago, I was sitting in a coffee house with a friend and I saw through the window 2 lovely children (baby of few months and the other about 3 years old), outside the coffee house sitting in the stroller with their Mum standing next to them.Within few minutes, she pulled out a cigarette and started smoking, the smoke was all over the children. Perhaps nobody told the mother, Smoking is injurious to health! I also noticed that the cigarette smoke was irritating the baby’s eyes but the mother was totally oblivious to the whole thing ! How selfish and inconsiderate!

Are smoking parents unaware of the danger or are they just plain selfish?

Should I mind my own business?

I know I should mind my own business and not tell parents not to smoke, as it is their life. But what about the budding life of their children ! Some doctors class passive smoking as child abuse. Why should babies and children be subjected to secondhand smoke? Shouldn’t there be some law for this?

We all know that cigarette smoke is cancerous

Second hand smoke causes a lot of damage to health, we all know that. So why should you subject your child to this danger? Cigarette smoke not only causes cancer but also causes health issues in children later in life. It can also cause asthma and pneumonia in children.

Smokers who claim that cigarette smoke is not dangerous

There are a lot of smokers who claim that everything the medical experts or government agencies say about the dangers of a cigarette smoke are just made up things, you are just trying to find excuses so that you don’t have to give up smoking. But at least don’t smoke for your children’s sake!

“Children of smokers are up to four times more likely to get heart disease later in life” 

source: Dailymail.co.uk

Parents are responsible for shaping the life of their children

If a child is always surrounded by smoke all the time, it is going to affect their mental and physical health. As per my previous post,Should parents be allowed to spank their children, parents are chosen by the universe to shape the lives of their children, they cannot not do this by harming their health .

I can sympathise with those smoking parents who have inherited this habit from their parents. But you cannot repeat the mistakes of your parents. You should be correcting them!

Children always copy their parents

Children always look upon their parents as their role models. They copy everything the parents do- good or bad. Therefore, children of smokers are most likely to be smokers, even if you limit their exposure to smoke! Smoking out of car window or outside the house is also not good enough! Smoke travels back in to the house or car ! It will also cling to your clothes and linger in your breath!

Mental health of the child

When parents smoke, they teach their children how to escape from all their fears and stresses by smoking rather than being brave and facing their fears! Smokers teach their children how to become a smoking addict ! This is not an ideal upbringing !

‘I do not smoke in front of my children’

If you say the above, then I would like to tell you that according to the experts, it best not to smoke at all, not even when your kids are not around, only then your children will be able to lead a healthy life.

Are you smoking because of peer pressure?

Did you start smoking because your parents smoke? or did a friend introduce you to smoking? Even if you did, it is never too late to stop. Think of your children now!

Cancer can strike anytime

Smokers , beware! Cancer doesn’t see what your age is or how many children you have  or how young your children are . If you want to see your children grow up, it is best to stop smoking . Smoking is cancerous and this is a proven fact!

How can you correct this situation

  • Accept that smoking is wrong thing to do as a parent.
  • If you are chain smoker or are unable to stop smoking, get professional help to stop smoking. Remember, the will to stop smoking has to come from within.
  • You have to remind yourself again and again that passive smoking is harmful to your children and that’s why you need to quit smoking.
  • If you have got relatives who smoke like grandparents, uncles or aunts- ask them not to smoke around your children. As a parent you are responsible for the safety and security of your child.

It is absolutely infuriating when you walk on the street with your child and cigarette smoke of all the smokers around envelopes you and your child! Smokers should have the moral and social responsibility of not smoking in public places which are frequented by families and kids! I also feel that smokers are selfish in nature that by smoking they put the lives of other people in danger ! If smokers are not worried about their own health, then that’s their business but they have no right to put others lives in danger especially young and innocent children and babies!

Are you a parent who smokes? Have you got any relatives who smoke around your children? Do you think that passive smoking is child abuse? Please comment via comment box below, I would love to hear from you .

Meanwhile, stay safe and away from cigarette smoke!

Regards

 

 

 

 

How to Afford to Be a Stay- At-Home Mom – Become Self-Employed

Many stay-at-home moms are often faced with the dilemma that how do you make ends meet with one salary(husband’s salary) and look after the children. If you decide to go to work, you will have to factor in the childcare costs. You would be hardly left with any money after taxes and childcare. Looking after children is especially hard during the school holidays. I tried to go back to work but nothing worked out – the job, the money, the homework ! So how to afford to be a stay-at-home mom and also be financially independent ?

Why is important for mothers to be financially independent?

  • Create your own identity after motherhood. Mothers always think of their children first. Mothers will be happier and able to look after their children, if they think of their own needs too.
  • Increases your confidence- if you are earning money you will be naturally more confident.
  • In case your spouse is unable to provide for you or your children due to any unforeseen circumstances – you are able to provide for the family.
  • Extra money always helps- we all know that.
  • Your children will not take you for granted and will respect you.

Part time jobs

Unfortunately, part-time jobs are not easily available and you would still have to think of childcare during the school holidays unless you can find a job where you can work from home which might or might not be of interest to you.

Have you got any hobbies?

In case you have got any hobbies or any skill that you are good at, why not turn that into your own business? You can run your business from home which would reduce your overheads. As mentioned in one of my previous posts, stay-at-home-mom business ideas -earn while you are at home, you can sell on a website called Etsy, if you have made the product yourself.

If you don’t have any hobbies

I fall under this category. Yes, that’s right – I am not a very creative person and I don’t have any hobbies with which I could earn money! Therefore, I decided to become an Affiliate Marketer and I started blogging and to my surprise, I really love my work. To become successful it is very important to enjoy the work you do!

The path to self -employment is not easy

The path to self employment is not easy but if you work hard the rewards can be more than double your salary. It is important that you are:

  • disciplined
  • dedicated
  • hardworking
  • have a goal or a plan in mind

As I mentioned above do something you enjoy !

During the school holidays

During the school holidays, if you struggle to do your work refer to my previous post on how to work from home with kids. Also tell your children about your work if they are old enough to understand. Explain to them that you are working from home so that you can look after them.

 

Start Early

Start early- preferably few months after birth of your child. You will have to give time to the business before it starts making money. I know it will be hard when you have a baby to take care of, you can work when your baby is asleep, and ask your partner to help look after the baby. Even if your child is older, it is never too late to become self-employed. Bear in mind the benefits of self-employment :

  • Work at your own convenience.
  • No need to apply for annual leave during school holidays or when your child is sick.
  • Whatever you earn is yours.
  • You are not answerable to anyone.

In short,

You are your own boss!

Motivation

If you are planning to be self- employed or have just become self-employed, you would have to continuously motivate yourself to move further. Don’t be discouraged by failures. Treat failure as an experience. Believe in yourself and in your goals. I watch motivational videos on You Tube to motivate myself.

Training and Support

If you are doing something completely new, it would be a good idea to get some training and support. For example, I didn’t have a clue about affiliate marketing so I joined Wealthy Affiliate which not only provides excellent step-by-step training but also gives community support. Best of all, you work at your own convenience and at your own pace.

You are on your own

Some people do feel apprehensive about being self employed as you are on your own but being alone comes with the territory. If you feel lonely , then you can also go for some networking events where you can meet people who do similar work as you.

Have you had any experiences of being self employed? What are the positive things about self employment?  What are the aspects you do not like about self employment? Share via comment box below.

 

Regards

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Parents Arguing In Front of Children – What Are The Effects?

Have you ever argued in front of children? Are you feeling guilty about it ? Or has it become a habit now that you do not realise when you both start arguing in front of them ! You can always bring changes in your life and reduce the arguments. But before you do this, read below the effects of parents arguing in front of children.

Effects

  • According to the experts, children who witness their parents arguing on a regular basis, are at a risk of depression.
  • Children “copy” their parents. If they see their parents argue on a regular basis, they would do the same (not only during their childhood but also carry this habit into their adult life).
  • Children might lose faith in marriage.
  • Children might develop insecurity.
  • Children might develop rage, sulk and shout just like the parents.
  • Parents might not have a healthy, positive relationship with their child especially the father . Unfortunately, children always think that their mother is right and their father is wrong , even if that might not be the case.

Put yourself in your child’s shoes

If you and your parent are constantly arguing (doesn’t matter whose fault it is- I am no one to judge) , try thinking from your child’s perspective. The two people she/he loves the most in this world are constantly bickering, giving a lot of negativity, anger,fear and insecurity to her/him. Children do not have the perspective that adults have. They just accept things as seen, as understood, they do not think what is the reason behind these arguments.

Do you like to witness constant arguing, bickering?

If 2 people constantly argue in front of you would you like it? Even you would feel anger, rage and sadness at having to witness this very single day. If children or adults are sad every day, it ultimately leads to depression .

Do you actually like to bicker?

Every couple fights. But not constantly. There comes a point when you just don’t want to argue anymore. You can’t shout anymore.

How do you stop arguing in front of kids?

Only you can judge whether the reasons for your bickering with your partner are worth it. Is the reason important enough? More likely than not, it is nagging about everyday stuff! If the reason is not important for all the arguments, then you need to take control of your mind and tongue which can easily achieved:

  • LET IT GO- this is the price you have to pay to buy some peace. You need 2 people to argue. If you stop arguing your partner will stop as well. It doesn’t matter who is right and who isn’t!
  • Be the bigger person, think of the children and the impact it will have on them – be conscious of them around you . It doesn’t matter how old they are 6 months or 16 years. They will KNOW that something isn’t right between the parents.
  • While you are alone with your partner, try to talk things out (without raising your voices)- try to arrive at an understanding. Also remind him/her what effect it is having on the kids to witness you both arguing.
  • Try to form a habit of not arguing in front of kids by following the above, it won’t be easy to do in the beginning, but if your partner agrees and co-operates doing all the above , then the chances of this working will be ten- fold.
  • In case you fall off the wagon and argue in front of kids, hug each other and say sorry. Remember when your kids fight, you would be telling them to do the same thing!
  • Meditate- even if its for five minutes every day- This will bring inner peace, reduce your anger and most of all give you clarity of thought.

If you feel that reasons for your arguments are something very serious then, you would need to still talk to your partner in private (preferably when kids are not at home) and try to sort your differences out amicably and with maturity. Remember if you shout and scream you will be ruining your own peace as well.

Despite all the above, if you are not able to stop arguing then you should get help. For the sake of your children, you should do it rather than avoiding the issue or shoving it under the carpet. Longer you leave it, the worse it will get.

In my opinion, it is better to cut off a relationship and be at peace then to bear a burden of a bad relationship. Weigh the pros and cons of everything and the impact it will have on the children. Deal with it wisely and with maturity. Remember you as a parent are responsible for shaping the life of another being. Nobody, not even parents have the right to ruin their child’s life- emotionally or physically .

Parents will be able to walk away from their arguments or from each others’ life. But their children will have to bear the brunt of this for the rest of their lives!

 

 

Regards

 

 

 

 

 

Should Parents Be Allowed To Spank Their Children?-Is Spanking Right or Wrong?

“Parents should not be allowed to spank their children” is a headline I often see in the UK newspapers. Other countries in Europe have banned parents spanking their children, should UK do the same ? Should parents be allowed to spank their children? In case the Government decides to make this a law, will this effect parental rights? Are all parents being punished because of the wrongdoings of a few violent/abusive parents?

 

 

 

 

Please read the following before you decide if spanking is right or wrong.

Parents are the Legal Guardians /well-wishers of their children

Ask any parent how many pains they have gone through just by giving birth and even raising their child. Do parents like spanking their children? Here, by parents, I mean normal, happy parents not mentally disturbed or alcoholic or drug addict parents. Normal parents have always got the best intentions and good wishes for their children .

We all know that the amount of hardships a parent goes through, in bringing their children up, fulfilling their duties as a parent is enormous. Not to forget the financial pressures of raising them.

Parents are responsible for shaping the life of another living being

Parents can make or break their child’s life. Parenting is like walking on a tight rope, they are responsible for creating the foundation of a happy life for their child. Any or every action will have a psychological impact on the child’s mind.

Physical Abuse is different from Spanking

Surely physical abuse is different from spanking ! A tap on the bum is different from breaking your child’s bones or punching them on the face!

Does spanking help?

In my opinion , when a parent raises their hand or gets angry with the child, it means that they have lost control over the situation and in order to take charge, this seems to be the easiest option. Spanking is the way for a parent to release their frustration.

Reasons for spanking

Why would a parent spank a child ? If you decide to spank your child,you should ask yourself this question why do you want to spank your child? Has he/she done something so terrible ? If the answer is yes, then read my suggestion below on the alternatives to spanking. Whenever, my children misbehave, I always try to find out why are they behaving like this ? Is it an attention issue or something else. If they haven’t done anything so terrible, then you shouldn’t be spanking them.

Effects of Spanking

Spanking might have negative effects on the child like he/she will learn to hit others or they might hit the parent! A slap for a slap! As per my previous posts, children always “copy” their parents. From a spiritual point of view, spanking is a negative behaviour and therefore you will have negative effects of it.

If you believe in spanking, imagine this scenario. You are very angry with your child for doing something very very terrible, and you would like to spank them. Because you are very angry (out of control), you spank your child harder than you intended to … and you cause serious physical injuries to them. Then there will be only be a feeling of regret and nothing else. It is  better never to consider spanking .

Alternatives to spanking

Disciplining the child, teaching them what is right and wrong is a must. But spanking is not the answer. If the situation is very heated and the parent is feeling very frustrated and angry it is best to “take time out “. Either you leave the room or tell(not ask) your child to go to their room . After an hour or so when things have calmed down, explain to your child why you were asking them to do what you did before the situation got heated.

The kids of today are very clever, they need a reason behind everything you ask them to do. If you explain and make them understand in a nice,calm, friendly way, it will be more effective than spanking.

Another way is to take all the “goodies”(favourite toys, chocolates, birthday parties, television,computer games, play dates etc.) away from them. Tell them you have to earn them back by good behaviour.

When my son does tantrums, I just ignore him. After 5 minutes he calms down because he knows it is not going to do much for him ! When he is calm, I ask him ‘why did you do this?’ If he is wrong I explain to him why he shouldn’t have done this. He listens to me a lot more than if I try to put my point across to him in the middle of a tantrum. By doing this, parents also get some peace of mind! Win the battle mentally not physically!

Also, if your child talks to you, listen and understand their point of view. If you do that, the chances of tantrums and arguments with your child will be much reduced !

Conclusion

I feel that spanking is not the way to take control of the situation. As a parent, we need to be patient with our child’s behaviour however bad it may be. However, I also believe that to spank or not to spank is a parent’s decision. This right shouldn’t be taken away from them just because of few violent/abusive parents.

Spanking can be a tempting option but in that heated moment it is mind over matter. Parents have to develop that mental strength to resist that temptation.

Parents have been given, a responsibility of continuing humanity by the Universe or God, which is a great honour. We have to make sure that we teach the right things to our children. Our children are the future, and we have to teach them non -violence so that their generation and generations after can have a peaceful and a happy life.

Would like to share your opinion ? Do you believe in spanking your child and why? If not, then why not? Share via comment box below.

Regards

 

 

 

 

Teaching Kids Positive Thinking – Why is it Important?

My daughter is forever saying things like “I am rubbish at maths”, “I am bad at times table”, Maths being the subject she dislikes the most! Teaching kids positive thinking at a young age is very important. If they are taught how to think positively at a young age, they will also learn to think positively throughout their adult life too. This will help them deal with difficult situations in their adult life positively. If you think about it, positive thinking is a life skill. But why is positive thinking so important? I can think of a few reasons

Positive energy is source energy

If you believe in God or source energy, then positive energy is the energy of God. If we think positively, we are going with the flow of the universe. If we go against it, it will bring a lot of unhappiness, stress and frustration in our lives. By teaching children to think positively, we are in essence teaching them how to deal or face difficult situations which might come in their adult life, in case we parents are not around to comfort them!

 

Positive thinking keeps your mind clear

You are at peace if you think positively. If you are always thinking the worst your mind will be a mess! If kids are taught to think positively, they will be able to do their homework, assignments, tests with a much clearer mind. They will also be able to eliminate stress before tests or exams or before results.

Positive thinking leads to happiness

If you think positively, you will be stress free, your mind will be clearer. There will be no clutter in your mind. This will automatically make you more happy !

Positive thinking leads to a healthy life

By thinking negative things and feeling negative emotions of anger, frustration, fear etc, we invite a lot of stress and physical illnesses ranging from acne, eczema to heart problems. This can be prevented by always being positive in our thinking.

Also, negative thoughts can lead to mental illnesses like depression, anxiety. Therefore, positive thinking gives you the strength to deal with difficult situations and thereby prevent mental and physical ailments.

Positive thinking improves all aspects of your life

If you have always got a positive out look, your vibes will be positive. This will improve the atmosphere around you, give you better relations at home(which leads to happy family life) and at work .

Positive thinking and Law of Attraction

Your thoughts create your reality. If you think positive and therefore think good of yourself, it will reflect in your life and vice versa.

For all the above reasons (and many more) , parents must teach their children to think positively. But how do you make them do it? I have got a few suggestions:

Parents should practice positive thinking

As per several of my previous posts, children always copy their parents. Whatever parents do, children do the same. If parents want to teach their children to think positively, they must first start practicing positive thinking themselves.

Positive affirmations

I make my daughter say positive things when she gets upset about maths. I make her say “I am very good at Maths”,” I am very good at times table”. This exercise has brought better maths results for her. If possible make your child say positive affirmations in front of a mirror. No harm in parents do the same every morning! It might sound silly but don’t knock till you try it !

Writing

Make your child write all positive experience she/he had during the day in her/his journal. This will help your child remember the positive feeling she/he had. For example, my son enjoyed a lot playing with his best friend at school today. The memory of that joyful time will bring a lot of positively in him.

Meditation

Meditation is an excellent way to bring positivity. If you would like some tips on how to make your child meditate please refer to my previous post, Meditation Benefits for Children .

Teach your child to be grateful

If you teach your child to be grateful for everything he/she has, this will automatically bring positive thinking in them. Please refer to my previous post , Teaching Children To Be Grateful.

Love and Attention

Giving your child a lot of love and attention will bring a lot of happiness and positively in your child. In case your child is doing something you do not like, always try to understand why they are doing so. Explain rather than shout. Do not lie to your children. Do what you say you will do.

Surround yourself with positive people

It is important for families to always be surrounded by positive people. Positivity is infectious and this will help your child become more positive in their thinking.

Have you got any positivity to share? Please do so via comment box below. I would be happy to hear from you!

Regards

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Birthday Party Bag Ideas – How Do You Make Them Inexpensive?

Birthday parties can be very hard to organise and it’s even harder to fill up a party bag! If you are not watching the cost, party bags can become more expensive than the birthday cake especially if you have got 30 kids attending the party! Most of the parties that my kids have been invited to, the party bags have just been filled up with sweets and if they had eaten all the sweets then they would have lost all their teeth by now ! So I would like to suggest some birthday party bag ideas which are not only inexpensive but also sugar free!

To put sweets or not

All children like sweets. If children eat sweets in moderation, then it is fine. They should be allowed to enjoy their childhood as well. But parents shouldn’t fill the whole party bag with sweets just to make the party bag cost effective !

It’s not a competition

While organising their child’s birthday parties and party bags, parents should keep in mind that birthday parties or party bags are not a competition. They don’t need to compete with other parents or try to outdo other parents. Parents should only do what they can afford or what is appropriate according to them .

Party bags offered by the party entertainers/venue

Some party entertainers/venues provide birthday party bags at an additional cost to the parents which can be added to the party package. There are different party bag fillers available at different prices. So depending on your budget, you can choose the party bag package. Sometimes these party bag packages are cheaper than parents buying party bags and party bag fillers !

So if you are planning a party for your child, always ask the entertainer or the venue about the price of their party bag package !

Books

All parents are aware that books are very important part in the education and upbringing of a child. This applies to all ages (even babies). So including a book in the party bag instead of sweets would not be a bad idea at all ! Also, if you look around, you might be able find good deals on books. I am sure the parents of the children receiving the party bags will be pleased with this too !

What about a note pad and a pen

A personalised note pad and a pencil is also a very good party bag filler. It is very useful thing to have whenever you take your children to a restaurant or on a holiday. They can doodle or draw or write a few words or sentences! I am sure if this were given as a party bag filler it would be appreciated by both the parents and the child!

Party blowers, whistles, glow sticks, balloons etc

The ‘usual’ party bag fillers like party blowers, whistles,  glow sticks, balloons can be obtained at a low cost. Make sure you look around for a good price per piece. If you are buying online, you can check the reviews too !

Cupcakes

If you are good at baking, you can bake cupcakes and put them in the party bags! Kids love cupcakes! You can also ask your child to help you bake them. This will provide some good bonding time also! Your child also feel involved in his/her party preparations.

Theme parties

My daughter was invited to a craft party and instead of a party bag, she received a piggy bank which she had painted in the party! Another time she was invited to a salon party and she received a manicure/pedicure kit in her party bag! If you decide to have a theme party and party bag, make sure everything is child friendly and age appropriate.

I do know that some mothers feel that the party bags are waste of money as they are filled with cheap things. But children love party bags! They don’t care about the price of each item ! Party bags are just little bags of goodies that each child looks forward to receiving at the end of a party. But it all depends on the parents whether to spend unnecessarily on it or not. Also, it is not mandatory to fill the party bags with sweets. It is better to give a fewer things of value like books or a note pad and a pen then to fill party bags with cheap toys and sugary sweets.

After all, it is the thought that counts !

If the cost of party bags still comes higher than your budget, then maybe you could consider :

  • inviting fewer children
  • Getting a less expensive cake or
  • Getting a cheaper entertainer!

If you would like to share your experiences or ideas about birthday party bags, do so via the comment box. I would love to hear from you!

Regards