I often get this look, ‘you are a stay at home mom, you don’t work ‘, or people give me that sceptical look, ‘what do you do?’ Being a stay at home mom (SAHM) is considered a taboo by a lot of people. There is no pride in it or joy in it, for others, not me! Is being a SAHM now something to be ashamed about? This a question every mother should ask herself. What are the benefits of being a SAHM?
No, it is not ‘your house will always be clean’! A SAHM doesn’t mean that she has to clean the house all day long!
You always have a choice
When you enter motherhood, you have got a limited time for yourself. We all know that. But if you opt to be a SAHM, then you have a choice as to how you want to lead your life. You can decide what you want to do in your free time (when kids are sleeping or in the nursery). If you are a working mom, every day for a fixed time you will be chained to your desk at work! You have no option there!
The main difference between a SAHM and a working mom is the salary or lack of it, but there is a solution to that as well. If you persevere and belief in yourself, you can very easily set up your own business from home without anybody’s help.
If you work hard and follow your instinct, you will be able to earn more than a fixed salary every month. This will not only give you increased confidence and financial independence but also help you pass your time productively.
Please refer to my previous post on SAHM Business ideas here.
Pursuing your hobbies
If you want to pursue your hobbies or interests, it will be harder if you are working. You still got to come home, cook meals and help kids with their homework! For every mother it is very important to do something they enjoy. Life should not only be about work, work and more work whether it is your career or housework.
There should be things you should do to lighten you up, give you some space to breathe, spend time doing things you like or with people you are close to!
Your children will be what you want them to be
If you want your children to be what you want them to be, this can only be achieved if you spend lots and lots of time with them especially when they are under 5 years of age. Remember every person has a different way of handling your kids as compared to you. By every person, I mean your child minder, your mother, your mother -in-law etc.
Only a mother understands her child the most- the reason is obvious. A mother has nurtured a child for nine long months ever since he/she was conceived! Nobody can beat that- not even the father!
Your child is like a clean slate when he/she is born. You can write on this slate only what you want, how you want and when you want. For example, if a toddler is irate or in a tantrum for wanting a chocolate instead of a piece of fruit, only a mother has the patience to convince the child to have the fruit instead of the chocolate.
Only a mother will persevere to instil good habits in a child, for example having 3 balanced meals a day, minimise junk or readymade meals etc. But this can be achieved only if you are SAHM, especially if your child is under the age of 5 years.
If you set a good foundation of your child’s life, you will see the benefits of it as they grow.
You do not have to rely on other people
I met a mother once who said that her mother-in-law looks after her kids while she works full time. One day the mother-in-law was not feeling well during the school holidays, but the mother instead of thinking of the health of the elderly mother-in-law, thought to herself ( and said it aloud to me), what should I do if you are not well, I need to go to work. Obviously I was dumbstruck! Parents must remember that the Grandparents are doing the parents a massive favour by looking after their children.
Grandparents are elderly people who need to look after their health as well. Do not overburden them with your children. It isn’t fair on them!
If you are not sure what the Grandparents role should be in your child’s life, please refer to my previous post here.
So if you are a SAHM, you do not have to worry about who will look after your children during illness and school holidays.
Even child minders are humans, and they can fall sick or have an emergency in their personal life.
Even if you have figured it all out
If you are intending to go to work and have figured it all out, who will look after your kids during the school holidays, you still have to think who will look after your children when they are sick. After all, a child will need his/her mother the most when they are sick. Mothers can comfort the child like no one else can. If you are a working mom, you also have to worry about the childcare costs – they are not cheap either!
If you decide to be a SAHM, do not restrict yourself to the 4 walls of the house – it will drive you crazy! Do something of your own!
Finally it all depends on what is priority in your life, what are your beliefs on how to raise your child. Either way, do not feel guilty. Make the most of your life too!
Are you a SAHM? How did you pass your time during school hours? Please share for the benefit of other readers via comment box below.