The Benefits of Being A Stay At Home Mom – They are Immense!

I often get this look, ‘you are a stay at home mom, you don’t work ‘, or people give me that sceptical look, ‘what do you do?’ Being a stay at home mom (SAHM) is considered a taboo by a lot of people. There is no pride in it or joy in it, for others, not me! Is being a SAHM now something to be ashamed about? This a question every mother should ask herself. What are the benefits of being a SAHM?

No, it is not ‘your house will always be clean’!  A SAHM doesn’t mean that she has to clean the house all day long!

You always have a choice

When you enter motherhood, you have got a limited time for yourself. We all know that. But if you opt to be a SAHM, then you have a choice as to how you want to lead your life. You can decide what you want to do in your free time (when kids are sleeping or in the nursery). If you are a working mom, every day for a fixed time you will be chained to your desk at work! You have no option there!

Earning money

The main difference between a SAHM and a working mom is the salary or lack of it, but there is a solution to that as well. If you persevere and belief in yourself, you can very easily set up your own business from home without anybody’s help.

If you work hard and follow your instinct, you will be able to earn more than a fixed salary every month. This will not only give you increased confidence and financial independence but also help you pass your time productively.

Please refer to my previous post on SAHM Business ideas here.

Pursuing your hobbies

If you want to pursue your hobbies or interests, it will be harder if you are working. You still got to come home, cook meals and help kids with their homework! For every mother it is very important to do something they enjoy. Life should not only be about work, work and more work whether it is your career or housework.

There should be things you should do to lighten you up, give you some space to breathe, spend time doing things you like or with people you are close to!

Your children will be what you want them to be

If you want your children to be what you want them to be, this can only be achieved if you spend lots and lots of time with them especially when they are under 5 years of age. Remember every person has a different way of handling your kids as compared to you. By every person, I mean your child minder, your mother, your mother -in-law etc.

Only a mother understands her child the most- the reason is obvious. A mother has nurtured a child for nine long months ever since he/she was conceived! Nobody can beat that- not even the father!

Your child is like a clean slate when he/she is born. You can write on this slate only what you want, how you want and when you want. For example, if a toddler is irate or in a tantrum for wanting a chocolate instead of a piece of fruit, only a mother has the patience to convince the child to have the fruit instead of the chocolate.

Only a mother will persevere to instil good habits in a child, for example having 3 balanced meals a day, minimise junk or readymade meals etc. But this can be achieved only if you are SAHM, especially if your child is under the age of 5 years.

If you set a good foundation of your child’s life, you will see the benefits of it as they grow.

You do not have to rely on other people

I met a mother once who said that her mother-in-law looks after her kids while she works full time. One day the mother-in-law was not feeling well during the school holidays, but the mother instead of thinking of the health of the elderly mother-in-law, thought to herself ( and said it aloud to me), what should I do if you are not well, I need to go to work. Obviously I was dumbstruck! Parents must remember that the Grandparents are doing the parents a massive favour by looking after their children.

Grandparents are elderly people who need to look after their health as well. Do not overburden them with your children. It isn’t fair on them!

If you are not sure what the Grandparents role should be in your child’s life, please refer to my previous post here.

So if you are a SAHM, you do not have to worry about who will look after your children during illness and school holidays.

Even child minders are humans, and they can fall sick or have an emergency in their personal life.

Even if you have figured it all out

If you are intending to go to work and have figured it all out, who will look after your kids during the school holidays, you still have to think who will look after your children when they are sick. After all, a child will need his/her mother the most when they are sick. Mothers can comfort the child like no one else can. If you are a working mom, you also have to worry about the childcare costs – they are not cheap either!

If you decide to be a SAHM, do not restrict yourself to the 4 walls of the house – it will drive you crazy! Do something of your own!

Conclusion

Finally it all depends on what is priority in your life, what are your beliefs on how to raise your child. Either way, do not feel guilty. Make the most of your life too!

Are you a SAHM? How did you pass your time during school hours? Please share for the benefit of other readers via comment box below.

Regards

Why is Extended Family Important ? – Let your Children form Their Own Relations!

When I ask “why is extended family important?” I am asking this question in relation to your child and not you! Extended families of the parents are very important in the child’s life. I know some of you might say that I don’t get on with my extended family… or I do get on with some of them but not all of them. Some of you might say, I get on with my extended family but not with my spouse’s extended family! ‘My in laws are actually outlaws’. I hear all that loud and clear.

But despite all the above, I would like to underline to you the importance of an extended family in your child’s life.

Grandparents of your child

If you consider your parents or your mother-in-law and father-in-law as extended family, then it is very important that your child spends time with them. This should be done on a frequent basis if possible. Grandparents can teach what parents can’t. For example, they can teach them, family traditions or culture like mother tongue, family festivals, and family histories. Children like story telling. Grandparents are very good at story telling especially stories which have a moral at the end.

Uncles, Aunties and cousins

Every relation your child has gives him/her something new. Also, if the child is able to bond with different relatives he/she will feel more secure in his/her environment. If the parents have siblings, then children should be encouraged to mingle with uncles, aunties, cousins etc. This is especially beneficial if you have got only one child. Children need the company of other children. Children learn faster from other children- this is where bonding with cousins can prove to be beneficial to your child.

Uncles and aunties can bring different things in the child’s life, maybe because the mind-set of the uncles/aunties is different from the parents or it could be because the uncles /aunties are more experienced due to having older children.

Look at the bigger picture

If you are not keen to see your extended family too often, then make an effort at least once or twice a year. Try to look at the bigger picture. Think of all the benefits your children will have when they will get a chance to know and bond with your extended family. I believe that children have a right to form and maintain their own relations. If you do not get on with your child’s aunt, that doesn’t mean that your child shouldn’t bond with his/her aunt.

A sense of belonging

With the extended feeling, children feel a sense of belonging, and this makes them feel secure. This is especially true in regard to Grandparents. They will get the love and attention of other people.

Extended families make festivals merrier

Even though you dislike your extended family, you would have to admit that more the merrier especially during festivals, whether it is Christmas, Diwali, Eid or Hanukkah. Also, children will learn to enjoy your cultural festivals.

Children learn how to care for others

Children will see how the parents behave towards the extended family, they will learn how to look after others, how to think of others and be selfless etc. This is especially true when they see you (parents) caring and looking after your parents (Grandparents).

Your child will learn to bond with people other the family

Your child will learn how to bond and maintain relations with people other than the parents and friends. This will be a huge learning curve for your child.

After the Grandparents have passed on

Even after the Grandparents have passed on, your child will still get the love and attention of the uncles, aunties and cousins. They will still have a ‘family’ outside of their parents and siblings and so will you!

If you feel the extended family are spoiling your children

If you feel the Grandparents are spoiling your children, remember every Grandparent has the right to spoil their grandchildren. Every child has the right to get spoilt. Maybe, even you were spoilt by your Grandparents!

In case, you feel that some members of the extended family are spoiling your children in ways which are unacceptable to you or if they are teaching something contradictory to what you teach them, then you should approach the member and explain to them in a calm manner that this is not acceptable to you and to refrain from repeating it again with your child.

You should also explain to your child (in case of contradictory teachings from the extended family) why you are teaching them, what you are teaching them.

Indifferences with other members should be dealt with amicably, peacefully and with maturity.

Every family has its own share of problems. Rise above it. Be the bigger person.

Responsibility is yours

It is the parent’s responsibility ultimately, to discipline their child and give them the right guidance! Filter things out of your child’s life in relation to the extended family. You decide what is appropriate and what is not!

You will grow as a person

By making this effort for your child, of dealing with people you do not get on with, you will grow as a person. You will learn to be more resilient and accepting of other people’s faults.

You are your child’s role model

Even though you feel that your child hasn’t noticed anything or doesn’t understand anything about family politics, he/she can pick on your vibes very well!

Benefits are immense

Remember the benefits of an extended family are immense for your child, so do not get deterred by the negative aspects!

Conclusion

Not only the children but parents benefit also from extended families. Parents can also get guidance about their children from experienced parents in the extended family.

What are your views about the influence of the extended family on your child? What difficulties have you faced from the extended family in regard to your child? Please share via comment box.

 

Regards

Buy Kids Shoes Online – Hours Of Fun with Heelys Shoes!

Kids outgrow shoes very quickly, we parents know that. We all know how tiresome it is to take kids shopping for shoes, long queues and trying to reason with kids their choice of shoes. So I thought to myself why not buy kids shoes online or at least have a look at what the online stores have to offer. That’s how I came across this fantastic collection of Heelys shoes on the Skatehut website. I would like share this with you in case you are looking for shoes for your kids .

Just remember, 2 wheeled shoes are aimed more for beginners whereas 1 wheeled shoes are for those who have already used Heelys before.

Heelys X2 Fresh Black/Pink

Product name:Heelys X2 Fresh Black/Pink(girls)

Where to buy: Skatehut.co.uk

Price : £ 39.99

Material: Upper: canvas, Sole:rubber

My rating: 4.5/5

Other features

  • 2 wheels per shoe – perfect for beginners
  • Laced shoes
  • Contrasting trim and laces creating a bright effect
  • Rubber toe cap
  • Shoes come with ABEC3 bearings

Pros

  • Heelys brand is a known quality brand
  • Simple and stylish design combines fashion with functionality
  • Cool design for the young people
  • Fresh is a popular model in the Heelys range
  • Ideal shoes for beginners as well experienced
  • 2 wheels can be converted to 1 wheel
  • Easy to put wheels in and out quickly
  • Quick delivery and great service
  • Great quality good price
  • Very popular with kids
  • Cheaper on Skatehut compared to local shops

Cons

  • Big compared to normal sizing .
  • Shoes with laces – so make sure your child knows how to tie laces.
  • Kids would have to learn how to balance on the wheels

==<<Click here to buy Heelys X2 Fresh Black/Pink >>==

 

Heelys Premium 1 Lo Light Up- Triple White

Product name:Heelys Premium 1 Lo Light Up- Triple White(girls)

Where to buy: Skatehut.co.uk

Price : £ 74.99

Material: Upper: synthetic leather, Sole:EVA/rubber

My rating: 5/5

Other features

  • Padded tongue and collar for extra comfort
  • Shoes come with ABEC5 bearings
  • Translucent outsole with bright LED’s around perimeter
  • Power buttons on the tongue. Easy to press power button
  • 12 different light sequences
  • Light sequences switch off automatically in 4 minutes
  • Rechargeable LED’s. Chargeable port under the hidden flap on the tongue.

Pros

  • Includes dual prong cable which means you can charge both shoes at the same time
  • Stylish, flashy model from Heelys
  • Girls can not only roll around but display 12 sequences of light! What’s there not to like!
  • Good quality, smart looking. Good fitting .
  • Quick delivery

Cons

  • It takes 3hours to fully charge these shoes
  • Instructions not clear on how to charge them
  • USB cable included but not the charger plug

==<< Click here to buy Heelys Premium 1 Lo Light Up- Triple White >> ==

Heelys X2 Dual Up – Black/ Neon/Multi

Product name:Heelys X2 Dual Up- Black/Neon/Multi(girls)

Where to buy: Skatehut.co.uk

Price : £ 55.99

Material: Upper: synthetic leather, Sole:Rubber, Mid-sole:EVA

My rating: 4.5/5

Other features

  • Padded tongue and collar for extra comfort
  • 3D logo
  • Abrasion resistant brake pad
  • 2 X 2 wheels
  • Shoes come with ABEC3 bearings
  • Power strap and elastic gore closure for a secure fit

Pros

  • Beautiful design, sturdy build. Popular with girls who do not want anything ‘girly’
  • Great quality, brilliant colours!

Cons

  • Takes a bit of practice. Watch the Heelys instruction video.

==<< Click here to buy Heelys X2 Dual up  – Black/Neon /Multi>> ==

Heelys Uptown- Gold/Purple Colourshift

Product name:Heelys Uptown – Gold/Purple Colourshift(girls)

Where to buy: Skatehut.co.uk

Price : £ 54.95

Material: Upper: Canvas, Sole:Rubber

My rating: 5/5

Other features

  • Padded tongue and collar for extra comfort
  • Abrasion resistant brake pad
  • Dual colour
  • Low profile wheels
  • Shoes come with ABEC5 bearings
  • Lace closure for a secure fit

Pros

  • Good support for the feet in this model
  • Stylish
  • Quality product from Heelys
  • Brilliant colour

Cons

  • Same price for all sizes – if that bothers you!

==<< Click here to buy Heelys Uptown- Gold/Purple Colourshift>> ==

Heelys Veloz – Denim Rainbow Drip

Product name:Heelys Veloz- Denim Rainbow Drip(girls)

Where to buy: Skatehut.co.uk

Price : £ 39.99

Material: Upper: Canvas, Sole:Rubber

My rating: 4/5

Other features

  • Denim style mid-top
  • Classic sneaker style
  • Low profile wheel
  • Shoes come with ABEC5 bearings

Pros

  • Veloz are back in new colour scheme!
  • Full lace closure for a secure fit
  • Durable rubber sole
  • Ideal for those already used to Heelys
  • Good quality and design

Cons

  • Not as comfortable as the Heelys style trainers
  • Rainbow print might peel off

==<<Click here to buy Heelys Veloz Denim Rainbow Drip>>==

Heelys Split- Purple/Aqua

Product name:Heelys Split – Purple/Aqua(girls)

Where to buy: Skatehut.co.uk

Price : £ 54.95

Material: Upper: synthetic leather, Sole:Rubber, Mid-sole:EVA

My rating: 5/5

Other features

  • Padded tongue and collar for extra comfort
  • Abrasion resistant brake pad
  • Lightweight Eva Midsole
  • Low profile wheels
  • Shoes come with ABEC5 bearings
  • Lace closure for a secure fit

Pros

  • Durable rubber sole
  • Ideal for those already used to Heelys, the split comes ready to roll
  • Great price, quality and service
  • Sparkly looking

Cons

  • This might be harder to use for a child not used to Heelys

==<<Click here to buy Heelys Split- Purple/Aqua>>==

Heelys Voyager(Glow in the Dark)

Product name:Heelys Voyager – Glow in the Dark (boys)

Where to buy: Skatehut.co.uk

Price : £ 39.99

Material: Upper: synthetic leather, Sole:Rubber

My rating: 5/5

Other features

  • Smooth toe classic silhouette
  • Upper with a Glow in the Dark Accents
  • Large GITD logo on the side
  • Lace closure
  • Low profile wheels
  • ABEC5 bearings

Pros

  • Glow in the dark feature is always popular with boys!
  • Comfortable design
  • Perfect with or without wheel

Cons

  • One wheel so might be hard to use if your child hasn’t used Heelys before.

==<<Click here to buy Heelys Voyager (Glow in The Dark )>>==

Heelys X2 Dual up – Black /Gum

Product name:Heelys X2 Dual Up – Black/Gum (boys)

Where to buy: Skatehut.co.uk

Price : £ 45.99

Material: Upper: synthetic leather, Sole:Rubber, Mid-sole: EVA

My rating: 4.5/5

Other features

  • Padded tongue and collar for extra comfort
  • 3D logo
  • Abrasion resistant brake pad
  • 2 X 2 wheels
  • Shoes come with ABEC3 bearings
  • Power strap and elastic gore closure for a secure fit

Pros

  • Very stylish design
  • Great quality and price
  • Brilliant service

Cons

  • Watch Heelys instruction video for practice

==<< Click here to buy Heelys X2 Dual Up -Black/Gum>>==

 

Heelys Premium 2 Lo-Black/Grey

Product name:Heelys Premium 2 Lo- Black/Grey(boys)

Where to buy: Skatehut.co.uk

Price : £ 59.99

Material: Upper: synthetic

My rating: 5/5

Other features

  • Padded tongue and collar for extra comfort
  • Shoes come with ABEC5 bearings
  • Translucent outsole with bright LED’s around perimeter
  • Power buttons on the tongue. Easy press power button
  • 12 different light sequences
  • Light sequences switch off automatically in 4 minutes
  • Rechargeable LED’s. Chargeable port under the hidden flap on the tongue.

Pros

 

  • Includes dual prong cable which means you can charge both shoes at the same time
  • Stylish, flashy model from Heelys
  • Boys can not only roll around but display 12 sequences of light! What’s there not to like!
  • Good quality, smart looking. Good fitting
  • Quick delivery

Cons

  • It takes 3hours to fully charge these shoes
  • USB cable included but not the charger plug

 ==<< Click here to buy Heelys Premium 2 Lo- Black/Grey>>==

Heelys Motion Plus – Grey/Black/Flames

Product name:Heelys Motion Plus – Grey/Black/Flames(boys)

Where to buy: Skatehut.co.uk

Price : £ 40.99

Material: Upper: synthetic, Sole: Rubber

My rating: 5/5

Other features

  • Upper with breathable perforations
  • Padded tongue and collar for optimal comfort
  • Gum Rubber Ninja Star outsole for added grip
  • Full lace closure
  • Low profile wheels
  • ABEC 5 bearings
  • Plugs, wheels and removal tools included

Pros

  • Classic motion plus model. Excellent flame design
  • Ideal for the more experienced due to the single wheel
  • Great product and fast delivery
  • All boys will love the design and the hours of fun!

Cons

  • If your child has never worn Heelys, they might find the one wheel shoes hard to balance

==<<Click here to buy Heelys Motion Plus – Grey/Black/Flames>>==

 

Heelys GR8R Hi- Black/Red

Product name:Heelys GR8R Hi- Black/Red

Where to buy: Skatehut.co.uk

Price : £ 49.95

Material: Upper: Canva, Sole: Rubber

My rating: 5/5

Other features

  • Padded collar Hi top Shoe
  • Stylish Classic Construction
  • Abrasion Resistant Brake Pad
  • Low profile wheels
  • ABEC5 bearings

Pros

  • Padded collar for optimal comfort with lace closure for secure fit
  • Heelys logo embroidery on heel and side
  • Ideal for those already used to Heelys
  • Brilliant service. Great quality

Cons

  • If your child has never worn Heelys, they might find the one wheel shoes hard to balance

==<<Click here to buy Heelys GR8R Hi- Black/Red >>==

 

Conclusion

Heelys is a great quality brand as well as value for money. Skatehut prices are lower than other online and offline store. Skatehut also has got a fast delivery system. Overall, you won’t be disappointed !

Have you every bought Heelys Kids shoes? What was your experience with it? Please share via comment box below.

Regards

What Should Parents Teach Their Children – Have you Covered Them All?

‘What should parents teach their children? ‘ is the question which is foremost on any parent’s mind- either a new parent or an existing parent. Before you stress over this , remember parenting isn’t an exam! It’s ok if you have forgotten to teach your kids something. It is never too late. Sometimes, you automatically realise and sometimes you just need a little reminder. We all do.

My post specifically relates to things you should teach your children about your customs and traditions. Below are things which I feel are necessary to teach children but if you feel I have left out anything please put them in the comment box at the end of the post.

Mother Tongue

If you are not living in the country of your origin, it is very hard to teach your child your mother tongue, especially if the children don’t have anybody to speak to in their mother tongue other than the parents. Despite all this, I believe it is very important to teach your children your mother tongue .

I consider teaching mother tongue as an inheritance. I believe that inheritance and legacy just doesn’t mean money and property, it also means what you will pass on to your children and remain with them long after you are gone.

Another point to be considered here is that, if you do not teach your children your mother tongue, your children will not be able to teach their children and therefore your language or mother tongue will die with you ! As crude as it sounds, it is the truth!

If you think it appropriate you can send your child for tuition to learn the language , though I recommend, it being taught by the parents. Even though you do send them for tuition, your children might still not talk or understand the language as they are not getting enough practice or because they don’t speak it with the parents.

You can also take the help of Grandparents. Remember, it’s your parents who taught you the language in the first place!

Traditional Foods

If you have any traditional foods as per your caste and community, you should not only teach your children to eat it but also at an appropriate age teach them how to cook it. Try to create the same environment as your own country if possible. Your children should know about their origins.

For example, as soon as I started weaning my children on to solid foods, I started giving them rice and lentils as well as Indian bread (chapati) and Indian vegetable(sabji or shak).

Cultural Festivals

This one is a tough one but not impossible. Remember as a parent you have got to make your child aware of all your traditions and culture. Try to celebrate all or at the very least celebrate the most important festivals of your culture. You can also make them more aware of it through books or movies showing these festivals. For example, as an Indian Hindu, Diwali is the most important festival for us. So I teach them ( through books or just by talking to them ) what is the significance of Diwali by telling them the story of Rama and Sita and Ravaan and that Diwali means the victory of good over evil.

If it is not possible to celebrate the other lesser known festivals then you can always talk to them about it when you feel they are beginning to understand or are getting interested in the festivals linked to your culture.

Other Traditions

There could be other traditions linked to your culture which could be important. For example, it is an Indian tradition to take blessings of the elders especially during festivals like Diwali. So if that is your tradition as well, you will have to make the effort to teach your children . You should do it to your elders and let them ‘copy’ you.

Effort has to be yours

If you are not living in the country of your origin, extra effort will have to be made by parents in order to teach children about your customs and traditions. If you don’t make efforts, you won’t see results! Efforts have to be made continuously, constantly and regularly.

Persevere . Even if they don’t show any interest initially, do not stop trying. If you do it continuously, they will come round and show interest. Try different ways of teaching them -don’t stick to the traditional way of teaching them. For example, if you have more than one child – ask them who knows what is a sock called in your mother tongue? Praise them all for trying or getting it correct.

You have to do it yourself

As I have repeatedly said in all my posts, parents always copy their children. So parents need to be seen by children as following all their customs and traditions. For example, if you do not speak in your mother tongue (at least at home) children won’t speak it either.

Praise and encourage them

Whenever your children follow your customs or traditions, make sure to praise them. This will encourage them to do it again. If they speak in your mother tongue , encourage them to talk to other people (who have the same mother tongue) in that language . This will give them lots of encouragement as well.

Try to make it fun

If you try to make it fun to learn your customs and traditions for your children then, they will learn it faster. For example, I have downloaded an app on my phone which teaches them our mother tongue but also lets them play games. Ordinarily, I don’t allow them to play games on my phone. So this is a treat for them!

Believe

It is important for parents to believe that teaching your children about customs and traditions is an important lesson to be taught. Teach your children what you believe is important. Teaching for the sake of it will not give any results and will be a waste of your time and effort.

Conclusion

Teaching children your customs and traditions is very important. If you teach your children, then they will teach their children. If you do not teach them they will be unable to teach their children and all your customs and traditions will die out – at least in your family.

What are your thoughts on teaching your mother tongue to your child? If you are already doing it, what hardships do you face? Please share via comment box below.

Regards

Baby Bjorn Baby Bouncer- Review of Bouncer Bliss

Baby Bjorn has got a good range of baby bouncers. I would like to tell you first why you would need a Baby Bjorn baby bouncer. Holding the baby all the time is not advisable as it tires the baby. Also, a parent has to shower, cook and do all other chores which can be difficult to do with a baby. One good option is getting a bouncer for the baby. Both my kids (as babies)used to play on a traditional bouncer, whilst I was cooking and gradually fall asleep on the bouncer .

If you are still debating whether you need a bouncer or not, then you need to think where you will keep the baby (when he/she is awake) and you need to do cooking or other household chores or go for a shower. This going to happen very often even though it is a parent’s best intention to finish all chores while the baby is asleep!

If you have decided that you do need a bouncer, go ahead and read my review of Baby Bjorn’s Bouncer Bliss to help you make an informed decision.


Review of Baby Bjorn’s Bouncer Bliss

Product name: Baby Bjorn Bouncer Bliss, Anthracite,Mesh

Price: £109.59

Where to buy: Amazon.co.uk

Age: Newborn to up to 2 years

Weight of the baby : Minimum weight 3.5 kg, Maximum weight 13 kg

My rating:4.5/5

 

Other features

  • Ergonomic design which means it gives good support to the baby’s head, neck and back. This is very important for the baby’s development. The fitted fabric seat distributes the baby’s weight evenly.
  • Bouncer comes with natural rocking, no batteries required. The bouncer is rocked either by the parent or by baby’s natural movements.
  • Bouncer can be used for a long time, from 0 to 2 years of age. Bear in mind minimum weight of the baby should be 3.5 kg and maximum weight should be 13 kg.
  • Seat is made of child friendly material and has been approved by Oeko-Tex Standard 100 as being free from harmful substances.
  • Fabric is easy to remove and clean. It is machine washable at 40 deg Celsius.
  • Bouncer can be used in 3 different positions of rest and play.
  • It is portable and can be folded flat. It occupies very little space when it is folded.
  • Available in mesh or cotton fabric and different colours like anthracite, black, navy blue and greige.

Pros

  • Non slip base, also bouncing doesn’t make any noise.
  • You can watch your child play and rest while you take shower or do your household chores. This would be the main reason you would need a bouncer as you cannot hold your baby all the time.
  • Once your child has learnt to sit unaided, you can turn the fabric around and convert the bouncer into a children’s chair!
  • Despite the high price, it is value for money
  • Easy to clean fabric. Mesh design is easier to clean than cotton especially if there are any milk spills. Mesh design also keeps the baby cool in the summers.
  • You can adjust the bouncer at 3 different angles depending on if you are using it as a sitting or a sleeping device.
  • It is strong,light and portable and can be easily carried to a friend or a relative’s house.
  • Very stylish but simple, award-winning design- different from the traditional design.
  • The rocking will also help to calm the baby or him or her to sleep. You can rock the bouncer with your foot too.
  • Neutral colour – so it can be used again if you plan to have more children.

Cons

  • Price is high. Expensive if you don’t intend to use it much. It will be worth it if you buy for your first child and then re use it if you have more children .
  • The mesh design is a little rougher than the cotton design .
  • Colour can be boring if you are looking for a colourful Fisher Price kind of bouncer.

== <<Click here to buy Baby Bjorn Bouncer Bliss>>= =

Other add ons

Product name: Baby Bjorn Transport bag for Bouncer Bliss

Price: £18.00

Where to buy: Amazon.co.uk

My rating:4.5/5

Other features/Pros

  • Practical lightweight bag to carry your Baby Bjorn Bouncer Bliss.
  • Travel bag made of 100% polyester.
  • Machine washable at 40 deg Celsius.
  • Easy to carry bouncer in the bag.
  • Protects bouncer from getting dirty when you transport your bouncer from one place to another.

 

 

 

 

 

Cons

  • Bag is expensive too – it is a big expense if you were to buy both the bouncer and the bag.
  • You shouldn’t put anything else in the bag except the bouncer otherwise you might damage the bouncer or the bag.

== << Click here to buy Baby Bjorn Transport Bag>>= =

 

 

Product name: Baby Bjorn Toys for Bouncers – Flying Friends

Price: £26.90

Where to buy: Amazon.co.uk

My rating:4.5/5

==<<Click here to buy Baby Bjorn Flying Friends for Bouncers>>= =

 

 

 

Product name: Baby Bjorn Toys for Bouncers – Googly Eyes

Price: £32.99

Where to buy: Amazon.co.uk

My rating:4.5/5

Other features/Pros of the bouncer toys

  • Encourages baby to play and explore.
  • Keeps them occupied while you do your chores.
  • Safety tested, high quality product from Baby Bjorn.
  • Attaches firmly to bouncer so it can only be removed by an adult
  • Safe for child to chew or suck on.

Cons

  • Very expensive for what it is.
  • Child might get bored with playing with the same toy.

== < Click here to buy Baby Bjorn Googly Eyes for Bouncers>= =

 

Conclusion

There is no doubt about the great quality of Baby Bjorn products. A bouncer and bouncer toys are must haves if you are having a baby. So if the price is not an issue then go for the Baby Bjorn Bouncer Bliss with the transport bag and the toys! Overall a great product.

If you already have a Baby Bjorn bouncer, please share your experiences and opinion in the comment box below.

 

Regards

How To Teach Kids Responsibility – Why is it so Important?

My niece passed on her precious Barbie dolls to my kids as she had outgrown them but within a few weeks of my kids receiving them one doll’s head has snapped off(no idea how!) , another’s leg is broken! Yet another’s hand has snapped off! I pondered on this for a while, how to teach kids responsibility and why is it important for parents as well as the children. Every day at school pickup time, my kids would have lost something or forgotten something at school. Sometimes we realise this before we leave the school. Sometimes we realise when we are already home.

Does this all sound familiar?

Why is responsibility important?

Teaching children to be responsible is important so that they know what they understand what is expected of them and what will be the consequences of their actions. For example, children should know that it is expected of them to tidy up the room after they have finished playing with their toys. They should be taught that if they push their sibling from the stairs, the sibling is likely to get seriously hurt.

If you do not persevere and teach your child responsibility, you cannot say that ‘my child does nothing!’

Foundation has to be built from a very young age

From a very young age, children have to be taught how to be responsible. For example, you can teach your child how to put all his/her toys away, in a toy box. At that age, you have to show them with action, and make them copy you. From a young age, they have to be taught to clean their own mess. As the child grows make it a ‘rule’ that they have to pick up all their toys and tidy up the room before they go to sleep every evening.

Praise them

Praise and encouragement are very important in children’s upbringing. Make sure you acknowledge or praise them whenever they act responsible. My daughter has the habit of forgetting her things in school like her school cardigan, her water bottle or her reading record. Very often something has gone missing. On the days she brings “everything back”, I praise her “well done for bringing everything back”. If she has lost something in school, I ask her to go to the Lost &found; and find her things herself in the break time. I only ask the school if she is unable to get her stuff back.

Help with the chores

As per the age of the child, make them help you. Soon you will learn which chore they enjoy the most. Start them off with the chores they enjoy. For example watering the plants in the summer or helping with putting away the laundry. Then slowly introduce them to things which have to be followed on a daily basis like clearing the table after every meal. From the age of 3, I made my kids put their plate in the sink after meals. By the age of 8, they would have to rinse their plates and put them in the dishwasher.

Don’t over expect

Children are not going to do a perfect job. Recognise the effort and the intention.

 

Self-care and looking after things

Self-care is also a part of making your child responsible. For example, taking showers on their own, washing hands properly before meals and after going to the toilet, changing on their own etc.

Also encourage them, to look after their things, books or toys. You can tell them that you can use only those things which are not broken or torn.

Make exceptions

If sometimes your child is tired and is unable to put all his toys away, help him out but reinstate the rule the very next day.

It is a long process

This process of teaching them to be more responsible will last their entire childhood. At every age you will have to teach them to be more responsible – not only remember doing the things they already do but also get more responsibility.

Step-by- Step instruction

When we, adults go through any kind of training or a course, we learn faster if we are given step- by -step instructions. Same goes with children. When you start making child responsible or if you are giving a new chore to your child, give the step-by-step instruction. For example, you want the plates wiped before they are placed on the dining table. You can say, Wipe the plate first very carefully. Hold plate tight so it doesn’t slip out of your hand . Place each plate carefully on each mat. Do it slowly. No rush.

Responsibility brings bonding

When my younger child started primary school, I told my daughter, “look after your brother”. Whenever they have a joint play date, I instruct them to look after each other, be nice to each other and don’t leave the other out of the game you play with the other kids. Be there for each other.

Also, when you give them chores to do, they will feel included and involved in your life and this will create further bonding.

Responsibility brings trust

When you start giving more and more responsibility to your child, trust will automatically build up when the child executes all the chores to the best of their capacity. You have to remember to give them chores only as per their capacity and age. When you know that your child can complete a particular task well on their own, do not hover around them to see if they have completed the task or not. Leave them to it.

 

Responsibility brings self – confidence

When your child completes a chore satisfactorily and earns your praise, it will automatically increase their self- confidence. Next time they will say, “Mummy, I can do it”. This will feel very satisfying to the parent as well.

Appreciation

When we give them household chores, children will realise how hard parents work, to get things sorted on a day-to day basis. This will automatically make the child appreciate his/her parents.

Conclusion

It is never easy to teach your child to become responsible. It is a continuous process. But nothing about parenting is easy; the important thing is to make it fun for yourself and your child and being consistent. Sooner or later, they will start becoming more responsible.

Do you have any tips on how to teach kids responsibility? Please share via comment box below.

Regards

Sibling Rivalry Into Adulthood – Is this Healthy?

Sibling rivalry is healthy up to a point, when the children are young. But the sibling rivalry into adulthood might lead to destruction of relations not only between the siblings but also with the parents. Therefore, from an early age, when the children are young, parents should take preventative steps to ensure that they give everything including love and attention equally to all children.

It is very important that what is done with one child should also be done with the other!

What is sibling rivalry in children ?

Sibling rivalry means when children try to compete with each other and go to any lengths to “win”. Sometimes sibling rivalry is healthy whereby it encourages all the siblings to do better. But if proper steps are not taken by parents to control the rivalry it may carry on into their (children’s) adulthood!

What causes sibling rivalry in children?

Sibling rivalry is caused by factors such as:

  • Unequal love and attention to all children- sometimes parents do this intentionally and sometimes they do it unintentionally. If they do it intentionally, it is favoritism. Please read my previous post on favoritism here.
  • Parents comparing children which increases the rivalry- “why don’t you try to become like your brother?” Please read my previous post on comparing children here.
  • Children wanting praise or attention from the parents .
  • Children trying to get into the “good books ” of parents.
  • Child might feel,even if its not the case, that parents are always taking the side of his/her sibling when the siblings fight.
  • Huge age difference between siblings – if the gap is huge (10 years+) it might intensify sibling rivalry as over the years the circumstances of parents might change, what was possible with first child might not be possible with the younger one and vice versa .

Sibling rivalry might increase or reduce in adulthood.

Little bit of sibling rivalry is normal

All siblings fight. Through the fighting they bond as well. They compete with each other too- to try to grab attention of the parents. This is all very normal. So if your children are doing this, it is quite normal.

Don’t encourage the rivalry

Don’t encourage rivalry by comparing children. Sometimes you might do it unintentionally or blurt out something like “your brother does this for me all the time, why don’t you do it?” Even if you do say it in the heat of the moment, reassure the child by saying that you love all of them equally .

Too much sibling rivalry might be carried into adulthood

If there is too much sibling rivalry in childhood, it is more than likely that it will get carried into adulthood. If it does it might not be healthy for the siblings. After the parents have passed on, the siblings only have each other. So it is the responsibility of both siblings and parents to try to make effort to reduce rivalry. It must be remembered by the siblings, they too are adults now and responsible for their own actions.

Siblings should also remember(being adults now) that their relation with each other is different from the one with the parents. One relation should not spoil the other.

Reasons for sibling rivalry in adults

  • Favoritism towards one sibling by the parents.
  • One sibling just doesn’t get on with the other due to difference in their nature or character.
  • More dependence on one child by elderly parents compared to others.
  • Sibling rivalry into adulthood might also be as a result of differences which might have cropped up between the siblings due to certain incidences or miscommunication or misunderstanding. This might have nothing to do with the parents.
  • Sibling might not get on with the spouse of the other sibling. This will affect siblings relations with each other and lead to rivalry.
  • Competition between spouses of siblings might also lead to sibling rivalry with regards to wealth or social status.

Effects of sibling rivalry into adulthood

  • The sibling who feels he/she isn’t getting attention from parents might have problems with self-confidence.
  • Relations between siblings will get affected due to fights and communication issues. After all adults are not as forgiving as children!
  • Siblings will continue competing with each other which might not be healthy  and will lead to a lot of stress.

If you are facing sibling rivalry

Try to take these steps if you are facing sibling rivalry:

  • Forgive and forget. Try to be the bigger person.
  • Make peace with yourself first. Even if you do feel that your sibling is getting more love and attention of your parents then you should first to accept the situation. Try to look at it as an outsider rather than looking at it as an affected emotional person.
  • Don’t dwell on negative things which serve you nothing! In fact, do not discuss or complain or rant about every “episode”.
  • Continue to be “normal” with your parent(s) by offering them what you can. Don’t beat yourself if your opinion or your idea doesn’t get accepted by them and the “favorite” sibling’s idea gets accepted.
  • Treat yourself nicely and maintain your self-respect. Don’t stop loving yourself. The important thing is to love yourself. Belief in yourself.
  • If you feel that your self-respect is being compromised than maintain distance from your sibling for little while. Take a break but not for too long otherwise you might grow too distant.
  • If the sibling rivalry is due to misunderstandings or miscommunication , try to sort it out amicably with your sibling as early as possible.

By being competitive and jealous of your sibling will not serve you in any way. It will just make you unhappy .

Conclusion

Parents though elderly should try and accept and acknowledge opinions of all their adult children and perhaps explain to them why they are unable to accept opinions so that children do not feel “unwanted” which might later give rise to sibling rivalry. Parents should try to be just and fair to all their children from the children’s childhood into adulthood.

If sibling rivalry has nothing to do with parents, but difference of opinion just accept it and move on. Don’t hold grudges. It will just pull you down.

Have you experienced sibling rivalry? How did you deal with ? How did your parents react to it? Please share via comment box below.

Regards

How to Start A Home Based Business For Free – Wealthy Affiliate Review

The reason for letting you in on my little secret of how to start a home based business for free, is that I fully understand the hardships, parents have to go through with looking after children as well as earning a livelihood. It becomes harder if you do not have anybody to help you look after your children. Before I found Wealthy Affiliate, I was not getting anywhere with part time job hunting. I found one full time job at one point but I left it in 2.5 weeks. I just couldn’t cope with it and the kids as my husband also works full time!

Anyway, cutting my sad story short, as soon as I found Wealthy Affiliate, I felt I have found a purpose in life with which I could not only help parents like us (me and my husband) but also I found a way to recreate my identity after motherhood!

You need a computer – desktop or a tablet or a laptop to run this home based business. Ideally it is better if you have a desktop or a laptop.

So here is the review of Wealth Affiliate, which has changed my life !

Overview of Wealthy Affiliate

Name: Wealthy Affiliate

Co-owned by: Kyle and Carson

Website : www.wealthyaffiliate.com

Eligibility : Anyone over the age of 18 years

My rating: 4.5/5

Wealthy Affiliate is the home of Affiliate Marketing. In simple terms, Affiliate Marketing means you choose a niche(a topic which you are passionate about or is your interest or a hobby) . Through Wealthy Affiliate’s step-by-step training and ample resources and support, you can set up a (WordPress)website . On this website, you can write blog posts on various topics under your niche. Through the website you also, promote other people’s products and services and earn commission.

If you are still not sure what a niche means, check out this perfect explanation of niche by Kyle here .

Click on the image below to get niche ideas:

Free Starter or Premium Membership

The first question for setting up any business is to calculate the cost. But if you subscribe to Wealthy Affiliate, you have the option of subscribing to a free starter membership – just so you can check it out for yourself whether this is something you want to do or not! If you decide to upgrade to premium, the cost will be either $49/month or $359/year. It will be your choice whether you want to pay monthly or yearly ! You do not need to give any credit card details to subscribe for the free starter membership !

So how are you going to earn money ?

There are so many people on the internet every day. Everybody is always looking for information on the net. A lot of them might be looking for information which you can provide through your blog posts on your website. This will bring visitors to your website (Traffic) . If they buy products or services you are promoting, you earn commission! Have a look at the diagram of Affiliate Marketing below.

= = > > Click here to start your free starter membership to Wealthy Affiliate = => >

Are there any other costs involved ?

You will have to have

  • A broadband connection
  • Electricity

Which you would be having anyway at home!

If you are starting out as starter member you will be building a website on the.siterubix.com domain which is a completely free website. You can build up to 2 free websites as a starter member.

Premium membership has to be paid via PayPal or Debit/Credit Card.

Countries barred from Free Starter Membership

Due to scams and frauds certain countries have been barred from free starter memberships, they have to subscribe straight for premium membership. These countries are:

  • Bangladesh
  • Egypt
  • Ghana
  • India
  • Kenya
  • Morocco
  • Pakistan
  • Philippines
  • Vietnam
  • Nigeria

Types of Training

Once you subscribe to Wealthy Affiliate, You will have access to the following trainings:

  1. Online Entrepreneur Certification (50 lessons)
  2. Affiliate Boot camp Training (70 lessons)
  3. Live interactive video classes (weekly)
  4. Video and text based tutorials (1000+)
  5. Course ,lesson and task based training

 

 

What exactly is the difference between a Free Starter and a Premium Membership?

 

Do you actually make money on Wealthy Affiliate or is it a scam or a rip off?

Let me explain you this by telling you the pros and cons of Wealthy Affiliate :

 
Pros

 

 

  • Highly affordable – if you  go for premium membership – it is a very reasonable price
  • Value for money – the amount of training, support and resources that you get – the membership is more than worth it.
  • Detailed training- whatever route you choose – Online Entrepreneur Certification or Affiliate Bootcamp training- all the steps are explained in great detail. You can watch the trainings as many times as you want to get a solid foundation for your business.
  • Tasks at the end of every lesson. At the end of every lesson, you are given a task to complete- this will give focus and direction to your business. In case, you get stuck completing the task, help is always available.
  • After completing the trainings and through the membership, support and help is available all the time by the members including the co-owner, Kyle himself!
  • Site Support- if you have any technical issues with your website or your Wealthy Affiliate account – Site support is available all the time, every single day.
  • Community support – Wealthy Affiliate has got a fantastic community. They will help you if you are stuck with anything or to inspire you, motivate you or guide you or give you solutions to problems you might be facing in your business. This is the best feature of Wealthy Affiliate. Self Employment is always considered a lonely road. But Wealthy Affiliate has provided a solution to this as well.
  • If you subscribe to the Premium membership, you will not require any other course or product to run your business.
  • This is suitable for anybody of any age (18+years) whether you are old or young, employed or unemployed, part-time or full time worker, retired or not. You DONOT need any experience of online business or any online knowledge, Everything is provided for under the Premium membership.
  • Wealthy Affiliate also provides you the option of “trying” it out through the Free starter membership – so that you know whether Affiliate Marketing is for you or not. You are not obligated to pay anything if you decide to stop the free starter membership.
  • In Affiliate Marketing you do not have to create a product or service to sell – as you are just promoting other people’s products or services. No Physical stock involved. No delivery problems to deal with!
  • Affiliate Marketing provides immense flexibility which is necessary for parents. You can work at your convenience. There is no 9-5 here.
  • Affiliate Marketing is a great and a proven way to earn passive income.
  • You can work part-time or full time depending on daily schedule.

= = > > Click here to start your free starter membership to Wealthy Affiliate = => >

 

Cons

  • There is a lot of chatter on the site itself from members blogging on the site or questions being asked as well as the live chat option. You have got to remember not to waste time or minimise time wastage on banter with other members. You have got to keep the focus on the trainings and on your business. Make yourself productive.
  • Online business including Affiliate Marketing takes a while to start earning money. You have got to be consistent with your work and belief- ignore the naysayers.
  • People- meaning friends and relatives who have no clue about Affiliate Marketing will try to put you off – do not pay heed to them. Follow your instinct.
  • Lots of hard work required. There is no overnight success. This will not give you immediate cash – if that is what you are looking for! Discipline and perseverance is required – big time!
  • If you live in the countries barred from free starter membership – you will not have the chance to “try it out”. You will have to begin with the Premium membership of $49/month or $359/year.
  • Wealthy Affiliate is only in English Language. You have to know how to write and read English .
  • If you decide to promote Wealthy Affiliate then your commissions will be paid via PayPal. This is something you will have to consider if you do not have access to PayPal.

I believe that Wealthy Affiliate is one of the best,if not the best platform for Affiliate Marketing I would definitely choose Wealthy Affiliate over any other Affiliate Marketing courses as:

  • You might NOT get community support
  • You might NOT get Site support in case of technical issues
  • You might NOT get any help or support if you do not understand any aspect of the training.

Success Stories of Wealthy Affiliate

If you still require proof that Wealthy Affiliate is NOT a scam or a rip off, read success stories below:

Success Story 1

Success Story 2

Success Story 3

There are tons more on the Wealthy Affiliate website .

Conclusion

Wealthy Affiliate Platform provides you everything you need to become an Affiliate Marketer under one roof. If you would like to earn a passive income or are looking for flexible or part-time work, try out the free starter membership today !

Have you had any experience with Wealthy Affiliate? Are you still a member? Please share via comment box.

Regards

 

Is Parenting Hard? – Is It Worth It?

“Is parenting hard?” is the question often asked by couples contemplating having a child. Is it worth it? Sometimes people who already have children think of parenting as the most difficult job(me included) . Then why do people have children? Parents moan non-stop about their children – why didn’t they think about this before they decided to have children? Is parenting only about pressures, worry and stress? Is there something, that people miss out on if they don’t have children?

 

 

 

 

Let me highlight a few things below which your child will bring your life:

Your child is your teacher

Some parents always think that a parent has to teach the child discipline, good behaviour, family culture, maths homework etc. But try to look at the other side of the coin. Your child teaches you:

  • How to learn to be patient.
  • How to teach your body to stay awake the whole night and do all the chores including looking after your child the next day without feeling the exhaustion.
  • Multi tasking- there is no job in this world which teaches you how to multi task as much as parenting does.

My most favourite ones:

  • How to be an emotion switcher (within five seconds!). This is the scenario: My kids are fighting with each other, I get angry with them, tell them off. They say sorry with that look .. POOF … . anger is gone .. Replaced with a Mum’s heart brimming full of love for her children. You experience this magic only with your children. Children can teach parents how to have dual emotions at the same time.
  • Before you have children- you would think I can’t do so much work in a day – “it is impossible” . Once you become a parent you can pack in the same amount of work in an hour !

You grow as a person

Once you have a child- he/she is your responsibility . Whether you have any emotional, physical or financial problem, you have still got to love and look after your child  and play with them. You wouldn’t believe how much you grow as a person.

Your faith in the universe becomes stronger

When you see your baby soon after he/she is born- you would feel as if the biggest miracle has happened in your life. Watching your kids grow, makes you realise the power of the creator of the universe which increases your faith. As you handle your child and deal with your own issues – your faith will get stronger in God or universe.

Children give you the reason to be happy

If a parent has had a stressful day, spend one hour playing with the kids- become a child yourself. Before the  hour is up, all your stress would have disappeared. Such is the power and sweetness of a child!

Your life will be busy

Your life will be busy, upside down but you won’t be sitting lonely and depressed if all your “partying friends” are busy .

You will be the most important person in your child’s life

If you have ever come across a phase in your life, when you feel you are not able to please anyone- your boss, your spouse,your siblings or even your parents- fear not ! You will always be the most important person in your child’s life. Your child will give you a reason to love yourself once again!

Parenting teaches you to care and share

Parents have to practice what they preach to their children. If you teach your children to care and share, you will have to demonstrate it to your children. This would automatically make you a better human being.

Parenting gives you fulfillment

Parenting or having a child gives immense fulfillment despite the sleepless nights and hard work and loads of laundry! You are responsible for another life. It is an honour too to be entrusted with another life by the universe.

Parenting makes you selfless

Parenting makes you selfless. When you become a parent , you are constantly thinking about the welfare and needs of your child all the time. This makes you very selfless. You are not thinking only about yourself all the time.

You will be able to leave your legacy to someone

Everybody want to leave their imprint before they depart from this world. You can leave your imprint through your children by giving them your upbringing , thoughts, opinions, culture etc.

But before you decide to have a child it is important to :

  • Understand that your life will change forever.
  • You will have to move mountains to raise your children.
  • It involves a lot of hard work and sacrifices.
  • Your child/children will always be your number one priority until they become adults. Nothing or nobody is more important than your child/children.

Apart from the above,  there are a few other things I would like to highlight,

Parenting- if you have no help

There are many parents like us (my husband and I) who have no help with the children. But that shouldn’t be a reason not to have children. A child is always best looked after by the parents, in my opinion. It is hard but you will see the fruits of it sooner or later. Parents can love, guide,discipline,instruct, teach children like no one else can. Every other relation for the child is optional or a bonus.

If you have seen other parents being miserable

Do not let the misery of other parents dictate whether you should have a child or not. A person should make up their own mind whether they are ready to have a child or not. There are good and bad days, ups and downs when you are a parent. Ups and downs are a part of life whether you are a parent or not. Finally, it is the attitude of the parent which will decide how happy the parent is after having the child!

Conclusion

Parenting is a choice. In my opinion, having children is the natural progression in life. Parenting teaches things which nothing else can and most of all becoming a parent is one of the most joyous moments of our lives. Are you a parent or planning to be one? Do you think parenting is hard? Please get in touch via comment box below.

Regards

Parents Who Overprotect Their Children – Why Do They Do It?

Parenting is becoming more like a circus trick – parents are overloaded with so much information that they are unable to balance themselves on the tight rope of parenting ! One wrong step and you will fall 10 feet down! Why do parents overprotect their children, has anybody wondered why?Parents who overprotect their children are not monsters or aliens or controlling freaks! After all, only parents (not psychologists, Doctors or experts) would understand their children! I can think of few reasons why parents become so protective of their children.

Scaring parents

Every day in the news, we hear of the various studies conducted by psychologist or experts or Doctors, what is the affect of so-and-so on the child. However, well-intentioned they are, they are always aimed at scaring parents. Doomed if you do it, doomed if you don’t! For example for years, parents were told that too much screen time is not good for children, and now few weeks ago, we all read or heard that the “experts” don’t think that screen time actually effects children negatively! There are so many contradictory reports, it is quite confusing which way should parents go!

Society

Barely the baby has been born and the parents are told, “do this, then this will happen”, if you don’t do this your child won’t do this” , “you didn’t listen to me, so now your child isn’t normal”. Again, well-intentioned society of grandparents, uncles aunties, doctors,nurses etc. People don’t need to be perfect to be parents!

Safety

Parents also tend to become overprotective when they hear or read of incidents and accidents of other children. It is natural for parents to tell their children – who their best friends should be, where they should go with their friends etc.

Mothers are naturally overprotective

Mothers always tend to be more protective towards their children then fathers. It is the mother’s instinct to always protect her children.

Fear of Social Services

In this day and age where there so many laws and rules to protect children, Parents often fear the social services taking their child away from them. One example that I can cite here is that some parents believe in spanking there children in order to discipline them, but they fear social services knowing about it and therefore are unable to discipline their children. I do not advocate spanking children – please refer to my post on spanking children here.

If parents are unable to discipline their children they become spoilt – they will not understand the difference between right or wrong. Each parent has their own way of disciplining their children- this right is not being respected due to various child abuse incidents.

What is over protection?

I feel over protection is an objective term. It depends on the child or the circumstances. What is over protection for one child would not be over protection for the other ! Parents are in the best place to decide whether it is over protection or not.

Do you feel you are overprotecting your child?

If the answer is yes, then I would like to share some secrets with you on how to stop yourself from being overprotective,

Striking a balance

Whenever your child asks your permission to do things – don’t always say no. Give them a bit of freedom,depending on their age and ability, to explore things in their life. Don’t always stop them or scare them from exploring. If your 2 year old wants to run in the park, let them run even if there is a risk of them falling down and getting hurt. On the other hand, you cannot allow your child to run on the streets!

Trust your instincts

Your instinct will always guide you – what you are doing is correct or not. You understand your child better than anyone. You know what your child is capable of. Few times, I have had the instinct that something is not right and BAM, my child has been injured, luckily not seriously !

If something doesn’t feel right to you, then don’t let your child do it. Even if it is at the risk of getting yourself labelled as an overprotective parent .

Have Faith

It is very important for every human being to have faith in something or somebody. Have faith that God or universe or angels are always looking after your child. They will protect your child from anything bad or unpleasant.

Trust your child

You have to have faith in your parenting skills.  You have already taught your child that he/she needs to wrap up in the cold weather otherwise they might fall sick. Now, have the faith that they will do so in the school when they are playing in the playground. Don’t worry unnecessarily at home or at work if they have done so or not. Trust your child to follow your advice. Even if they do not and fall sick, they will learn from that experience .

Give them some space

As children start growing up, give them some space. Mothers should especially do his. If you spend every waking moment with your child- you will start becoming more and more overprotective towards your child! Let the father of the child take them out without you for a couple of hours even though you(Mother) are the one who primarily looks after the child.

Overprotectiveness can have negative effects too

Remember that if you are protecting your child from every bad thing possible, it can have a lot of negative effects on the child like:

  • Child won’t be able to solve smallest issues on her/his own
  • Child might have problems in her/his relationships
  • Child might be low in self-confidence as she/he has very rarely learnt from her/his own mistakes
  • Child won’t think much of herself/himself so would be low in self-esteem too

 

All the above will affect his/her adult life too.

Conclusion

Parents have to decide what constitutes over protection for their children and what doesn’t depending on the age and ability of the child. I believe following your instinct is the best way to avoid over protection. Do you overprotect your children? Have you got any tips or suggestions to prevent overprotecting children? Please share via comment box below.

Regards