In the past few months, I feel that I am thinking of my children all the time. I don’t think enough for myself. I am facing this dilemma, am I doing it right? Is my selfless nature towards my children making my children ungrateful? Are they taking me for granted ? Is this the price of motherhood?
Is It wrong to be a Stay at home mum?
I am a stay at home mum. Though I work from home, I am always ‘available’ for my children, at their beck and call. My husband works full time and therefore I do most of the care giving to my children. If you are stay at home mum like me, you would know that this is not a 9-5 job. There is no finish time. Every minute, every second throughout the day and night you are a mum. There is no pay, no leave. Do our children appreciate this? Probably not.
Do children of stay at home mums take their mother for granted?
Yes. They do especially during the summer holidays. ‘Mummy has to play with me, take me to the beach, park etc’. Stay at mom homes do not get any time to themselves for the entire 6 weeks(feels too long!).
A mother can’t think like a father
I have been told by my husband quite a few times, ‘think about yourself now, don’t always think of the kids always’. But most of the times, I have just been unable to do that. Is it just me or are all mothers like that?
Families are getting smaller
I was brought up in a joint family which means the extended family were living in the same house as my parents. It was easier for my parents to bring me up as there were people around to ‘help out’. But my husband and I are on our own. All the parental responsibility falls on us and mostly me as hubby is at work.
My children are with me the whole day which is truly a test of patience especially in the summer holidays.
So how would you deal with this ? If you are a stay at home mum like me without any help, it is a very trying time !
- I try to put a positive spin on things which I get frustrated with – for example, this is the best time to spend time with my children. Time will fly very fast and before I know they will be all grown up. If ever you feel angry and frustrated, say this in your mind, ‘ I must spend the time with my children now. Before I know it they will be all grown up and won’t need me anymore’.
- If you work from home like me, at least (try to) work couple of hours during the day, maybe while kids are playing with themselves or watching television. You might not to be too productive with your work so choose work which requires less focus. I feel that by working even an hour, brings sanity back in my life while the kids are at home. Please refer to my previous post ‘How to Work From Home with Kids’.
- If you don’t work at all, then do something of your own, preferably something mentally stimulating like a crossword puzzle.
- Be kind to yourself, ask your spouse or friend for help if required to look after your children, once in few weeks, refresh and recharge yourself- even if it is only for an hour. It will make a huge difference!
- Accept the situation. If you accept the situation that you and your spouse are the only caregivers of your children, you would find it easier to deal with the situation. Go with the flow. Don’t pressurise yourself with the cooking, cleaning etc.
- Think of this situation as a learning curve for you as well. You will definitely learn to be patient if nothing else!
- Teach your children to think of their Mummy too, teach them to be grateful that their Mum is always around to look after them.
- Get your kids to help you with the household chores depending on their age and ability. This will show them how hard you work to look after them.
- If possible ask the grandparents to look after the children for a couple of hours so you can re-energise yourself.
- If your spouse is agreeable you can ask him to put the kids to bed while you go for walk few times a week. Fresh air can do wonders for your mind after an exhausting day with kids. It will help you relax and calm your mind down.
Children are the future of tomorrow
All the children of this world including ours are the future of tomorrow. If we provide them with a happy, safe,honest and secure upbringing,they will be able to spread this love in the world long after we are gone. Therefore, it is imperative we give the right upbringing to our children. As a parent we would have to give quite a few sacrifices as children are the only hope of mankind. If we teach our children to be selfless,loving and caring then they will be able to teach the same things to their own children.
I know the job of a stay at home is the hardest job in this world, but we have to persevere to make a better tomorrow. But it is also imperative that a mother gets a break from her routine through her spouse or other family members or friends. I believe that these sacrifices will not go vain. Such is the power of love of a mother!
After all it is said that since God couldn’t be everywhere, he made mothers!
Do you want to share any tips which may help other stay at home mums? Please share via comment box below.