Time Management For Stay At Home Moms – How to Get All Your Chores Done on Time

If you are a stay at home mom like me, you would be very particular about how things should be kept or cleaned in your home. But this comes at cost. Do you feel you are devoting all your time to cooking and cleaning and have very little time for yourself? In this post, I would like to share a few tips on time management for stay at home moms. I have discovered these tips from own experiences – hopefully they would work for you too:

Allocate time

For every chore like cleaning the kitchen or the bathrooms – allocate a particular day or time. For example: Every Friday at 10 am, I will clean the kitchen. Every Wednesday afternoon, I will change the bed sheets – so on.

Follow the timetable

It is important that you follow your timetable. If you don’t then all the chores will be pending at the end of the week and it will be impossible for you finish them in the weekend when you want to do things together as a family. If these chores pile up, you will not only feel lazy to finish them but also it will defeat the purpose of time management.

Take breaks

When you make your timetable don’t keep all the chores for one day. My advice is to do 1-2 cleaning chores a day- no more. Spread out all the chores. Mix the indoor and outdoor chores. Don’t keep all the indoor chores for one day and outdoor chores for another day.

Plan your day

If you are the cook in your family, plan ahead what you would be cooking for lunch or dinner – do preparations a little earlier – maybe while your baby or toddler is sleeping so that once the time comes to cook dinner – you would take less time to finish cooking .

Don’t overthink

Overthinking is bad for anyone. But from a point of view of a stay at home it’s even worse. From the above example of changing bed sheets every Wednesday- don’t keep thinking from Tuesday evening – ” I have got to change the bed sheets”. By the time it is Wednesday afternoon – you have tossed and turned it so much in your head that you really don’t feel like doing it. But this will take practice. At the allocated time, just finish the chore – don’t bring any negativity into it, like – I don’t want to do it, I am bored with doing work etc.

Keep some time for yourself

Always keep sometime for yourself in the week when you are doing something you enjoy – at least for an hour. If you take a break and refresh yourself you would be better equipped to deal with all the chores .

Moms who have very young children

If you have very young children – children in nappies, it will be very hard for you to stick to your timetable. You might have allocated 10 am Tuesday to clean the kitchen but your child decides to do a poo – bang at 10 am! Don’t get frustrated – change their nappy and start cleaning the kitchen quickly before you change your mind or before negative thoughts start pouring in.

Be positive

I know it is very hard to be a stay at home mom and look after the children. Remember “your thoughts can be your biggest enemy”. Whenever you feel lazy about not finishing your chores, say to yourself ” I need to keep the house clean for myself and my family”, train your mind to think positively about household chores.

Fitness, exercise and healthy diet

Women should always strive to be healthy especially post birth – eat healthy and exercise. This will help you give the energy and stamina to cope with all chores, kids etc. Try to not eat ready made meals – look after yourself- eat nutritious food. Don’t think – that it’s just me – kids are gone to school so I don’t need to cook a nutritious meal . You should think of yourself too ! If you are a fit and healthy then you will be able to look after your family better.

Don’t look for perfection

In case you are inundated with chores,and your husband or partner offers to do dishes – accept it. I am sure most of us think ” if I don’t clean it, plates won’t feel clean”. If you get help take it. It is not easy staying at home looking after kids, cleaning the house and doing all the other countless chores. Acknowledge you are a human and treat yourself nice. If you think it appropriate advise the person /partner how you want the plates to be cleaned.

Focus on the solution, not on the problem

If you feel you are finding hard to cope with everything – split all chores individually and focus on how you can complete each one of them. If you look for a solution, you will find one! But if you keep thinking of all the problems you are facing – you will never see the end of it. A little change in mindset goes a long way. I have tried this myself and I have been very successful with it.

If you are or have been a stay at home mom, please share your tips in the comment box below. I would love to hear from you and it might help other moms too!

Regards

 

 

 

Top Toddler Toys – Must have toys for every child’s development

There were some toys which I found useful when my kids were toddlers and therefore I would like to share what I feel are the top toddler toys. Most (healthy) toddlers are very active and it can be very draining on the parents to look after the toddler at home or keep them busy while they need to finish household chores like cooking, washing up, laundry etc.

Hopefully these toys will keep your toddler engaged too. But remember that even though these toys keep them engaged – it is always a good idea to keep checking on them every few minutes.

Play gym or play nest

My daughter was very hyperactive toddler so I bought one of these to keep her busy. The play nest is a soft inflatable ring which provides the baby with a play environment and also makes the baby feel very secure. While the baby is seated inside it can also explore it’s multi sensory features (vision, touch and sound) on the fabric covering the ring or tube. From experience, it also encourages the baby to sit on their own. So you can use it to encourage them sitting on their own from around 8 months.

Product nameGalt Toys Farm Playnest

Ages: 6+months

My rating: 4/5

The gym doesn’t come with a pump but it is very easy to inflate it by blowing air in it.

==>>Click here to buy Galt Toys Farm Playnest>>==

Stacking rings or stacking cups

Babies just love this toy! It also teaches them which one is the smallest ring or cup and which one is the biggest. You can also teach them colours with the toys. Initially you would have to show them how to play. Give them each ring or cup in their hand (strengthens their grip) and make them place one on top of the other ! Then show them how to knock them down as well and this can be a lot of fun as well as good bonding! This toy encourages co-ordination too for the babies.  You can’t go wrong with this toy!

Product name: Fisher Price Stacking Rings

For ages:  6+ months

My rating: 5/5

==>>Click here to buy Fisher Price Stacking Rings>>==

Shape sorter

Another absolute “must have toy”! The shape sorter not only teaches the child hand -eye co-ordination(putting the shape in the correct cavity) but also you can teach them shapes and colours. You can play with this countless number of times.

Product name: Mickey and Friends Shape Sorter Bus

Ages: 9+months

My rating: 5/5

==>>Click here to buy Mickey and Friends Shape Sorter Bus>>==

Mirror

Babies find looking at themselves very intriguing as well as amusing. You can use a baby mirror when the baby is lying on his tummy (tummy time). The mirror will keep them distracted during tummy time. By looking at the mirror they will become self-aware.

Product name: Fisher-Price Monkey Mirror

Ages:0+

My rating :5/5

==>>Click here to buy Fisher Price Monkey Mirror>>==

Bead activity

Bead activity cultivates hand-eye co-ordination logical thinking, fine motor skills colour recognition, imagination and thinking.

Product name: BATTOP Wooden Cube Activity

Ages: 6 months+(children under 3 years have to be supervised by an adult)

My rating : 4.5/5

==>>Click here to buy BATTOP Wooden Cube Activity>>==

Hanging toys for strollers and car seats

You would need to put toys on the car seat,pram and cot which will keep your baby entertained while he/she is in the car seat. This cultivates hand-eye co-ordination when the baby reaches to pull the toys. The different textures and colours cultivates their senses of touch and vision.

Product name: Singring Activity Toy

Ages:0+

My rating :4/5

==>>Click here to buy Singring Activity Toy>>==

Cot mobile

Motorised mobile toy which helps put baby to sleep. The toy comes with remote .You can restart the mobile without disturbing the baby. It also cultivates the senses of vision and sound.

Product name: Fisher Price 3-in-1 Projection Mobile

Ages:0+

My rating :4/5

Pros

  • Babies love the light and the sounds and the motion of the toys
  • Helps to soothe the baby if not put her/him to sleep
  • Even during the daytime while the baby is awake, it is a good way to keep the baby busy/entertained in the cot while the mother or father need to finish a few chores
  • The mobile also has a remote control so you can restart it with the remote if you do not want to disturb your baby
  • The whole unit can be assembled and disassembled very easily and therefore if you do not want to use the hanging toys then you can just use the unit as a night light only
  • Cricket noise on the unit is very highly recommended
  • Good value for money

Cons

  • Make sure you fasten the unit securely to the cot as you do not want the unit falling on your baby
  • Batteries drain very fast both on the unit and on the remote
  • Teddy bears are not very nice looking
  • The stars do not move- if that is an issue for you
  • Motorised motion sometimes makes a loud noise

==>>Click here to buy Fisher Price 3-in-1 Projection Mobile>>==

Baby walker

I am not personally very keen on walkers as I believe the baby has to learn naturally to start walking rather than make him/her start walking with the aid of a walker. I had bought this walker but only used the toy part of the walker. The toys on the walker are very good but parents have to get accustomed to hearing the same sounds or songs again and again and again!

Click here to see the image

Product name: VTech First Steps Baby Walker

Ages: 6 months+

My rating :4/5

Pros

  • Vtech is very well-known brand and has good quality products
  • Easy grip handle
  • Detachable activity panel which cultivates fine motor skills, hand-eye coordination. It also has rollers at the bottom which develop manipulative skills. Other features are shape sorters, barn door, lights and sounds and piano keys(do,re me, fa,so). Mobile phone included for more fun.
  • Your toddler may learn how to walk with the aid of the walker

 

Cons

  • Requires batteries. The ‘try me batteries’ included in the pack but sometimes they don’t work and you would have to put your own batteries
  • The wheels of the walker are made of plastic, so it’s best to use the walker on a carpeted surface. The walker might go too fast on a wooden floor and your child might not be able to keep up with it.
  • If you decide not to use the walker part and just use the activity panel, it would lead to wastage.

==>>Click here to buy VTech First Steps Baby Walker>>==

 

Whenever you buy a toy for your baby keep in mind the following factors:

  • Is it worth the price?
  • Is the quality good- is it safe?
  • Do you really need it – sometimes 2 toys perform the same function even though they are called by different names
  • Will it teach my child something- is it educational?
  • What is the age range of the toy?

If you would like to share your experiences of any of the above toys please get in touch via the comments box, I would be happy to hear from you.

Goodluck shopping for toys!

 

Regards

 

 

 

 

Personal Hygiene for Children – How to reduce illnesses

Children have to be taught by parents about how to keep themselves and their surroundings clean. They would have to be trained and reminded again and again about it. But you might ask, exactly what are parents supposed to teach their children regarding hygiene? I have put together some tips which I think are important so as to observe personal hygiene for children. This will not only reduce chances of your children falling sick but will also keep them and you happy.

Hairwash twice a week

Wash your child’s hair at least twice a week. As children are more physically active than adults, they attend to sweat more during daytime especially if it’s summer. Clean hair will naturally tend to smell better but also washing hair frequently will reduce the chances of them having dandruff. Excessive sweating causes dandruff.

Don’t dig your nose

It might sound funny to you right now but it is very important for children to be taught not to dig their nose. Children have got a habit of putting their hands in their nose and mouth and you don’t want their “nose wastes” going in their mouth! Also, sometimes children might dig their nose so much that they might get a nose bleed.

Cover your mouth when you cough and sneeze

Children should be covering their nose and mouth while sneezing and coughing respectively preferably with a tissue. You might have to keep reminding the children about this a lot of times but repetition brings results. If one of your child has got a cough or cold you don’t want the other children or you getting it. In case, they sneeze it’s best to catch it in a tissue and than throw the tissue in the bin and than ask them to wash their hands. Also, if they have got a cold, children should be taught to wipe their nose on a tissue rather than wiping it off with the back of their hand.

Don’t put your hand in your mouth

As mentioned above , children put their hands in their mouth as a habit. My daughter keeps putting her hand in her mouth for reasons only known to her! I have keep reminding her not do that as I have no idea how many bacteria she has got on her hands !

Nails

In younger children, parents might have to cut their nails every 2 weeks and in older children maybe every 3-4 weeks depending on how fast they grow. A lot of bacteria get infested in the nails and this might go in the child’s body when they eat. If you have a baby or toddler, they might scratch themselves if their nails are too sharp!

Wash hands regularly

Washing hand regularly doesn’t let bacteria settle on our hands. Train children to wash their hands

  • When they come home from anywhere, school, park, extra activities
  • Thoroughly before and after meals
  • After they sneeze
  • After they have been to the toilet

Toilet Hygiene

Children should not only be trained to clean themselves properly after a wee or a poo, but also to flush the toilet and then wash their hands with soap and water before they touch anything. Also, toys shouldn’t be allowed in the toilet. If you have just potty trained them and they refuse to sit on the toilet for a poo, talk to them or read them a book. Don’t give them anything in their hands.

Prevent Body Odours – by bathing, showering daily

Parents would sometimes feel what is the need to give a bath to a baby every day , it’s not as if she is moving around that she will get dirty. I believe that at least within a day or two from when the child is born, he/she should be bathed- at least once a day. As your child gets older, you might need to bathe him twice a day in the summer, if he/she is very sweaty after coming from the school or the park or a football lesson. Children should be given clean clothes to wear every day. At night, clean their face, hands and feet and give them clean pyjamas to wear.

Hygiene in Cooking

Parents should also observe good hygiene while cooking food (using clean counter space, clean utensils especially chopping board ) and also serve on clean plates, bowls, spoon etc. If possible always feed your child freshly cooked food. 

Hygiene at home

Parents should train their children to clear their toys after playing from a very young age. When they are toddlers, parents can teach them how to pick their toys by pretending to play a game with them. For example, “let’s see who can pick the toys the fastest” or you(parent) put a toy in the toy box than you give your child a toy and tell her/him to put it in the toy box. Do this regularly to instill the importance of cleanliness. Parents should keep their home clean so that children ‘copy’ this from their children. As per one of my previous posts, Parenting Tips for Children, children always ‘copy’ their parents. If you want them to be clean, you should make sure you keep your home clean.

If your child is sick

If you observe all the above points, the probability of your child falling sick will be much lower. Viral infection picked up from school or nursery cannot be avoided completely. In case your child is sick, make sure you disinfect your home with appropriate child friendly sprays and disinfectant. Clean your home regularly to prevent spread of virus and bacteria.

If you feel I have left out anything or if you do things differently, please share it with me in the comment box below. I would love to hear from you!

Good luck!

Regards

 

 

 

 

 

 

Role of Grandparents in Your Child’s Life – Is your child being raised by their grandparent?

Is your child being raised by their grandparents? I am not talking of kinship carers, who look after their grandchildren legally as the parents are unable to do so due to reasons such as mental illness, drug and alcohol abuse etc.

I am talking about Grandparents who help the parents in looking after their grandchildren if both parents are working full time and are unable to cope with looking after their child/children. What should be the role of Grandparents in your child’s life? Should Grandparents remain Grandparents or should they become parents second time round?

Age of the Grandparents

Age of Grandparents will determine whether they will be able to look after their grandchildren or not. When I had my children, my parents and my in laws were in their 70s and 80s which would make it hard for them to run around children or handle their tantrums.

Health and Lifestyle

Health and lifestyle will determine the stamina of the grandparents. If grandparents are healthy and active mentally as well as physically, it would be definitely easier for them to pick kids from school, look after them until the parents can pick them up.

Important for Grandparents to look after themselves

Most likely the Grandparents would be at least 60+ age wise (unless both the grandparents and the parents have had children in their early twenties!) and it is imperative that they look after themselves. It is the duty of the parents to make sure that they don’t overburden the grandparents with looking after their children. Grandparents need to have regular meals (on time) as well as rest or attend their medical appointments. Parents should think about the well-being of the grandparents before leaving their toddlers or hyperactive children to be looked after by the grandparents for the entire day ,every day especially in the school holidays.

Grandparent not keeping well

If the grandparent is not keeping well and is the childminder for your child, make sure you make other arrangements for your child. If the grandparent is not feeling well and you insist on them looking after your child, not only will you jeopardise the health of the grandparent but also the well-being of your own child.

Don’t Overburden the grandparent

Please bear in mind the age of the grandparent before asking them to help you with your child. Don’t give them multiple tasks to do in one go. If you need help, ask for one thing at a time and see how they cope with it and then ask them for more favours. If you feel they are struggling then reduce the amount of things they do for your child by either doing it yourself or getting a child minder/other help to do it.

Disciplining the Child

Parents shouldn’t expect grandparents to discipline their child. Disciplining the child is the responsibility of the parent not the grandparents. Also, the grandparents have already gone through the process of raising and disciplining their own children and it would be harder for them to do it all over again.

Grandparents will do things their way

If you as a parent want the grandparent to look after your child, bear in mind that they will look after the child in their own way. As such they are doing the parents a favour by looking after the child, and it should be their prerogative on how your child is to be looked after. If that is not acceptable to the parent, it’s best for the parent to look after the child themselves or get professional help of a childminder/nanny. After all, a grandparent is not a hired help!

Spending time together

A Grandparent should be able to spend quality time with their grandchildren. Only then their relationship can blossom. If the parents overburden the grandparents with chores for their children, Grandparent will have not time to rest or spend with their grandchildren. They might become resentful or angry at being overburdened and may not be able to give their relationship with the children what it needs!

It’s not all about money

Finally, keep in mind that saving money on the childminder is not the only thing you should be focusing on. You should also consider the well-being of the grandparent and your child.

Grandparents are only for support

It has to be kept in mind that Grandparents are only there to give support to parents for raising the child. They shouldn’t be given full responsibility of raising the child.  Grandparents can teach values or family and cultural traditions to their grandchildren. They can provide support to the parents by doing the occasional pickups or helping them with their homework.

It’s fine for parents to ask grandparents to help them with their child occasionally but if you do it every day , grandparents will get tired, angry and frustrated with the level of work. At that age they won’t be able to cope with the child as well as a parent can. If Grandparents want to do their own thing, parents should make their own arrangements for their child so that the Grandparents can enjoy their retirement as well as get a break from looking after the grandchildren.

What are your views about role of Grandparents? Do you depend on the Grandparents to look after your child? Please put your comments in the box below, I would love to hear from you!

Regards

 

 

 

Kids Too Busy To Be Kids – Do You Want Them To Grow Fast?

Are your weekends busy dropping and picking your child from back-to-back extra activities? Does your child attend more activities than they can handle in a week ? Are your kids too busy to be kids?

So what could be the reason for children attending too many extra activities? I can think of a few:

  • Parents are too busy to look after their kids and extra activities are a good way to keep the kids out of their hair
  • Competitive parents feel that they should put the kids in a lot of activities to keep their child ‘ahead’ of other children
  • Parents might think that enrolling their child in lot of activities is a status symbol
  • Parents might feel that if their child enjoys one activity then he/she should be put in even more activities
  • Maybe parents with a single child would not know how to keep their child busy and therefore put them in extra activities in order to keep them busy
  • Parents of hyperactive kids might feel that kids should be kept busy to keep them out of trouble.
  • Some parents might feel putting kids in a lot of activities might make their child more equipped when he/she grows up to get into college or a job or earn a livelihood
  • Kids might want to join activities just because their best friend is doing it

So is it a good idea to keep your kids too busy? What would be effects of keeping kids too busy?

Keeps the kids out of trouble

If kids are busy they will stay out of trouble. Especially hyperactive kids .

Kids can spend all their excess energy

Parents cannot match their kids’s energy levels. Especially if you have got more than one hyperactive kid, you would want to keep them busy to stop them from fighting or doing mischief and stop you from pulling your hair out!

Kids will learn a lot of things

Kids will learn different skills if they are going to a lot of extra activities like drama, sports, classical dances,musical instruments, arts and craft etc. If your child is good at a particular activity, it might help him get admission in a college.

Too Tiring

Too many activities will make the child very tired. They might not have any time to relax at home. Children also need relaxation – more than adults .

Imaginative play is very restricted at home

When children play at home they do a lot of imaginative play activities which will develop their brain. Just like adults children feel most relaxed in their own home.

Kids might feel too pressurised

If a child is doing to too many extra activities they might feel too pressurised and this might affect their health and happiness. It is logical that children who are happy and relaxed achieve more than children who stressed and always on the go.

No time to relax for parents

If you put your children for too many activities, you might not have anytime to relax or any ‘me’ time. I feel it is important for parents to have some space of their own, and to relax without doing any parental activity.

Less Family Time

As per my previous post, Why is Family Time So Important, I have outlined the importance of family time. If your child is going for back-to-back activities in the weekend, there will be no time left to spend together as a family. There will no time to go to the park for a family stroll ! Your child will be tired and so will you !

Kids might become too independent

The more kids stay away from their parents, the faster they will grow up. Kids involved in to many activities might be wise beyond their age.

Your child’s homework or schoolwork might suffer

When you book yours and your child’s time for an extra activity- ask yourself this question ‘is there enough time for homework?’ If they are already doing a lot of activities, monitor their school work – are the activities affecting their performance in school? School and studies should come first . Reduce their activities if you feel that their studies are getting affected.

Finances

Too many extra activities are going to take toll on your finances too especially if you have got more than 1 child.

Child might feel insecure

Since you (parents) are spending less time with your child/children, they would feel that my mum and dad don’t have any time for me and therefore they might insecure and unwanted.

I believe a few activities are necessary for the development of the child, but anything more than 3 – 4 activities is going to tire the child especially if they are under 10. There are other ways to keep your child busy like:

  • Parents can play with their children to keep them busy
  • Let the children be children and play in the garden or in the park as often as possible(weather permitting)
  • Let children have their me time at home – encourage them to play at home with their siblings or invite their friend over for a play date

What are your views on this? Do you keep your kids busy with a lot of activities or do you believe that kids should be spending time at home as well? Put your comments in the comment box, I would love to hear from you!

Regards

 

 

 

 

 

Stay at Home Mom Business Ideas – Earn While You Are At Home

I am a stay at home Mom and when I had my first child I found it very difficult to go back to work (high childcare costs, desire to do everything for her myself etc.) and after my second child, it was impossible. But staying at home with your children brings its own challenges like lack of mental stimulation, boredom , financial issues etc. Therefore I would like to share some stay at home mom business ideas for those mothers who want to stay at home with their children and also earn an income on the side.

Are you creative person?

If you are a creative person and have got a skill or talent – maybe you are skilled at making jewelry or personalising handbags or making glass sculptures – you can sell it on a website called Etsy. You would have your own shop on Etsy to sell your products. Etsy would charge you a commission of 3.5% when you sell something plus a minimal amount as listing charges. Keep in mind that your products have to be handmade by you or designed by you. You cannot resell an item on Etsy.

Do you have a lot of unwanted items at home?

Go to each and every room of your home. Collect all things which you which are of no use to you- books (children as well adult), baby monitors you longer need, baby cot, toys (in good condition) , board games, children’s superhero or princess costumes etc. List them on Amazon or Ebay and sell them.

Continuing to Sell

Once you have completed the above step, you can continue your business by buying from Ebay and selling it on Amazon as Ebay items tend to be cheaper than Amazon. Make sure that before you buy anything from Ebay for purpose of reselling you check the prices on Amazon. Start small – buy few items at a time. Your goal should be making a profit and that too within few days otherwise your cash will be blocked.

Selling on Ebay

You can buy products from discounted stores or buy products which are going to be discontinued soon and sell them on Ebay. Again, make sure before you buy the products ,you know at what price they are selling for on Ebay otherwise you might either incur a loss.

Other Options for Selling

If you become good at buying things and selling them on Amazon you can even consider importing from other countries like India and China on a wholesale basis and sell them on Amazon. They are various training courses available on internet on how to source products and how to sell on Amazon .

Become a Blogger

You can also become a blogger like me- share your experiences and opinions. You can do this in 2 ways:

  • Ghost write blogs for others  for a fee
  • Write blogs on your own website and thereby promote products and services and earn commission. This is called Affiliate Marketing.

 

Read my post on Wealthy Affiliate Review

Writing an e Book

If you are good at writing or have ever aspired to become a writer, you don’t need a big and expensive publishing company to publish your book. You can write your e book and list it on Amazon at a very minimal cost. e books have more exposure than printed books. They are also cheaper to buy than printed books. You can sell your book in a kindle version too which enables people to download on their kindle.

Fiverr

Fiverr is the largest online marketplace for freelance services at a very reasonable cost . You can either buy services on it or if you can provide some services yourself like graphics and design, writing and animation, you can become a seller on it and earn money!

Write Product Reviews

You can get paid for writing product reviews on Amazon. But you have to use the product and give an honest and detailed review of the product.

Online Surveys

Many companies pay you a minimal amount for completing their online surveys. Be warned the surveys are long, tedious and very time-consuming.

Be a Virtual Assistant

You don’t have to sit in an office every day to be somebody’s personal assistant. You can do same thing virtually from the comforts of your home by becoming a Virtual Assistant. There are a few websites which will help you get work.

Offline ideas

Here are some offline ideas –

  • You can sell your skill or talents to your child’s school too. For example if you are a good photographer, you can advertise photographing children or families at school fairs for a fee (with permission from the school) and other events like sports day or you can provide photographic coverage to parents for their child’s birthday party, for example.
  • If you are good at creating websites- you can go from shop to shop on the high street and offer them to set their website up .
  • Bookkeeping- if you have a got a head for numbers and basic knowledge of bookkeeping, you can offer bookkeeping services to small businesses like barbers, plumbers,gardeners,electricians etc.
  • Mortgage Advice- you can become a mortgage adviser and advice from home – but you will have to pass exams for it
  • Work from home Secretary- You can offer secretarial services from home if you have got experience as a secretary previously.

None of the above is a quick rich scheme. But with focus, perseverance and hard work , you will be successful even though you are working from home and looking after your children. If you are a stay at home Mom and would like to share your business ideas or some tips or strategies for running a business please put them in the comment box. It would be a great help to all mothers who are looking to start their own business!

Regards

 

 

 

How Many Children Should You Have -Is there a perfect number?

This is one of the most common topic between couples. “How many children should we have?”. Some might not want any children, while some might still not be satisfied with 6! People tend to make these kind decisions from their heart but since you are going to be responsible for another life it is important that you think from your head. If you have more children than you can handle, you are being unfair to another living being which is wrong. How many children should you have, depends on several factors:

Age of the mother

This is the top criteria to consider when you are trying to conceive or planning to having a child. In my opinion, 35 years is the limit for a woman to have a child. After that if you do conceive, there would be increased chances of complications. For example, the older the mother, higher is the chance of the child having downs syndrome. Also, after 35 years, a woman’s fertility starts declining. You might argue that, women are now conceiving at all ages 40,50 and even 75 years(through treatments, not naturally). But in my opinion, handling a child at an older age is much harder. I have seen 40+ women struggling to cope with their toddlers despite having help. As a result the mother is not able to keep up with their children and end up being unfair to them in terms of spending time with them or playing with them.

Read my post What Is The Best  Age To Have A Child- When Are you Ready To Have One?

Health of the mother

If you have children already, its likely that a lot of nutrients have been already taken away from your body during the pregnancies and childbirth and if you have breastfed your children.If you want to have more children, make sure your body is able to cope with the pregnancy and that your unborn child gets all the necessary nutritional requirement. Another question to ask is this – has the mother had any complications in the past pregnancies or at child birth ? If the answer is yes, would the mother be able to go through all that again- as most likely the complications would be repeated especially if these complications have been life threatening to the child or the mother.

How many children would your partner like to have?

Is your partner agreeable to having another child? At the end of the day the responsibility of the child rests with both mother and father. If your partner doesn’t want another child or not have a child at all, you must respect their decision as well. After all, having a child is huge responsibility.

Coping

If you already have a child or few children, the question you have got ask yourself is that will you able to physically cope with another pregnancy, another child. If you have one child and  you plan on having a second child, your work will double up. Keep this in mind if you want another child. With every child your workload will increase.

Financial Implications

This is a very important consideration. Children are very expensive! Even if you do say that we will “adjust” for another child- be honest with yourself. Will you be financially comfortable if you have another child? If both the parents are working childcare will be one of the biggest costs to think about. Have you got enough space in your house for another child, if you not will you able to afford a bigger house? There are other costs to consider too like food ,clothes , education for another child.

Only child

In case you want only 1 child, consider a few things:

  • Make sure your child doesn’t feel lonely. Children always look for other children to play with. If they don’t have a playmate will they be happy?
  • If you have decided to have only 1 child make sure you stick to your decision as time is of essence. If you change your mind few years later and you want another child, it might too late (age wise or health wise) to have another.

Trying for a boy or girl

Some people who have got 2 boys for example, will try for another child just because they would like a girl. Have a child (irrespective of the sex) if you want one ! It doesn’t matter whether you have got 2 boys or 3 girls.

World population

If you decide to have lots of children , consider the world population. Each person is responsible for leaving a good legacy for their descendants.

There are a couple of things that I would like to shed light on especially to people who haven’t been parents yet:

Should you have children at all?

Whether to have a child or not is a personal decision. Have a child because you want one. Don’t feel pressurised by societal laws or by your parents to have one. If you are not mentally ready to have one, don’t have it. Remember you will be responsible for another child. If you can’t take the responsibility but decide to have a child due to society or pressure from your parents, you might end up ruining their life.

and

Is there a perfect number?

There is no perfect number as to how many children you should have. For me, 2 was a perfect number and I still maintain that. Try to go with your instinct on this and if not consider all the factors I have mentioned above.

Rather than trying to go for perfect number of children or a high number of children, parents should strive to create a loving,secure environment filled with fun and happiness for their child/children. If you have lesser children, it will be easier to achieve this and if parents are happy children are happy!

Do you want to share how many children you have or how many would you like to have? Have you got any opinions on what is the perfect number? Please put your comments in the box below, I would love to hear from you!

Regards

 

 

 

 

 

How To Keep Your Marriage Strong After Kids -Stay in love with your Spouse

Raising children involves a lot of hard work on a daily basis, we all know that. But what some people don’t realise is that while they are busy raising their kids, they forget the most important aspect of their life- their marriage! Don’t beat yourself if you do this. Its very easy to forget the romance and marriage when you are spending time with your bundle of joy and being rewarded by toothless smiles and smelly nappies!

Nevertheless, you still need to maintain your marriage and your relationship with your spouse. Don’t get alarmed if you haven’t been doing so, here are some top tips on how to keep your marriage strong after kids.

Spend time together- Alone

If you have got a child whose less than a year old, it will be difficult to do this. If you have got help of grandparents or friends who are willing to look after your child for a couple of hours, take their help. Just do simple things like going out for dinner or going for coffee. It will go a long way. Make sure that when do go out – have proper husband-wife conversations. Don’t play with your phone or fight about trivial issues.

Help each other out

If one of you is sitting idle and the other is just overloaded with housework or nappy changes, this might lead to animosity between the two of you. Be considerate, help out the other if you are idle. That way if both of you have finished all your chores and your baby is asleep, you can spend time together, for example watching television together.

Early bedtimes for kids

From a very early age (as soon as possible after birth), try to follow a fixed schedule every day for your child especially evenings- Establish a routine. Dinner, bath,bedtime. If you cultivate this habit in your baby or child to go to sleep early (7ish) , you and your spouse will have plenty of time to relax and spend time together every evening. What would seem impossible like putting your feet up, would be easy to achieve!

Appreciate each other

In every relationship, appreciation for each other is very important. Same goes for couples. If your spouse helps you with your share of chores, just so that you can relax after a hard day, make sure you appreciate the help! Kind words always work wonders.

Remember your pre kids days

Once you have a child, try remembering the fun and romance in your life you had before you had a child. In case, you used to do certain activities together like playing cards – continue the same after your child is born. Make time for yourself and your marriage.

Think of yourself too

Once children are born, parents tend to think of the child only. They do not think of themselves and their marriage which in my opinion,is not a good parenting skill. If you are happy your spouse is happy and then your children will be happy too ! I am not saying that you think of yourself only but it is ok and normal to take some time out for yourself and for your spouse. Initially you will find it hard to juggle time for everything and everybody but if you make a conscientious effort, you will not only succeed but also be very happy!

Keep your bedroom child free

By the age of 1, try to shift the cot out of your bedroom. Let your child sleep in their own room. Again, this will be hard but keep persevering. Your goal here is to make your bedroom free of children and their items! This is necessary as you need to have your own space as a couple. When your child gets older teach them to knock on your bedroom door before entering. As your children get older and more aware of things, you have to teach them to respect your (parents’s) privacy.

Have faith in each other

Whether you have children or not, having faith in your spouse is a must in every marriage. Continue the faith once you have children. Respect each other even if you are very tired and frustrated with bringing up kids. Respect each other especially when kids are present. Even if you have disagreements do it in a normal tone and don’t get into a shouting session.

Read my post on Parents Arguing In Front Of Children – What Are The Effects?

Keep the romance alive

Keep the romance alive. Buy your spouse a surprise gift, nothing expensive, just a token to express your love. Don’t stop cuddling or kissing each other or even holding hands when you go for walks in the park with your kids. When my husband and I hug each other, the kids come and hug us and it becomes a family hug. Children like it when parents express their love for each other in their presence. This also provides more security to your child and therefore they will feel even more loved.

Always keep in mind each others likes/dislikes

For example if you are cooking dinner , don’t always cook what your children like or eat. Try to remember and cook your spouse’s favourite dish and your spouse would then show her/his appreciation and this would do wonders to your relationship. Children on the other hand would learn to eat different dishes and not be fussy eaters!

As per my previous post, parenting tips for children, children always copy their parents. If they see their parents having love and mutual respect for each other- they will also learn to love and respect their parents. Even though you haven’t been doing any of the above – it’s never too late ! You can start today or now! In case, you would like to share some more tips please put them in the comment box below. I would love to take suggestions from you too !

Good luck!

Regards

 

 

 

Why is Family Time So Important? – How and Why?

Living together under one roof as a family is inadequate if you are not spending time together as a family. People ( adults or children) who live together must experience happy moments together as well . So why is family time so important? And how do you achieve this? I do understand that every family has got very tight schedules throughout the week but I believe that every family must make time to spend together. This is will create the foundation of your children’s life. Weekend’s or school holidays are the best times to achieve this. For working parents, try taking part of your annual leave during the school holidays. Try to keep at least 1 weekend of the month free of social engagements. A few things that can be done together as a family are:

 

Benefits of having family time are:

Bonding with children

As per one of my previous posts, Parenting Tips for Children, I have mentioned that it is important to spend quality time with children. The reason being that you will know your child better. In case, they have any issues/problems, they would be able to talk to you easily, instead of hiding it from you or trying to solve it on their own. You will know your children’s likes and dislikes too.

Bonding with spouse

After having kids, it is very important that you should spend time with your spouse. This can be achieved while you are doing family activities together. If you have a lot of children or very young children, it is very easy to drift apart.

 

Children feel secure

Children feel very happy being in a fun environment with their parents and siblings. This happiness translates to being secure.

Children learn to be selfless

As a family if you are deciding which activities to do together, children learn how to accommodate each other’s choices and therefore think of others too. For example, if one child wants to watch one movie and the other wants to watch another, the parent would have to explain to them to take turns and thereby accommodate each other’s choices.

Children will listen to parents

Parents always complain that my child isn’t listening to me. But if a child is secure and feels loved, he/she will definitely listen more to their parents. Please bear in mind no child will listen totally to their parents!

Siblings will fight less

If you have got more than one child, you would know how much children fight! One way of keeping them busy and occupied is to do family activities together!

Children learn social skills

If a parent is aloof from his/her children, children will be aloof from the rest of the world. If parents are social and involved with the child, the child will do the same.

Teaches children how to handle their relationships

Children learn how to care and share for each other by looking at their parents. They also learn how to handle their emotions of jealously or anger especially towards their siblings.

Inculcating cultures and traditions

Every family follows certain cultures and traditions depending on the religion they follow. It is the duty of the parents to teach their children, cultures and traditions of their family. For example, going to the church or to temple or to the mosque together as a family.

Respect for others

If parents spend more time with their children they can teach children to respect elders (parents ,grandparents, teachers) . If the child behaves in an improper manner in any way , parents would be able to notice and explain to the child why his/her behaviour was improper.

Parents also learn a lot from their children

It is my opinion that parents too have got a lot to learn from their children. If you spend time with your child, their innocence will definitely teach you something.

Provides relaxation to the whole family

In this fast life, where the whole family is on the go throughout the week, be it work for parents and school and extra activities for kids, family time together – fully of laughter and fun is a good time to relax and unwind.

Children will be less fussy about their food

By eating together as family, children learn to eat the same food their parents eat. Whether you have family meals at home or in a restaurant, children will learn to eat different varieties of food that the parents are having. But it is necessary that the parents set the correct example for their children and not be fussy eaters themselves!

Children tend to copy their parents

What I mean here is if we as parents give a secure, fun filled and loving environment to our children, our children will also give the same to their children. This kind of environment can be achieved through lots of family time.

When Children grow into adults

When children grow into adults, they will continue to bond deeply with their parents as the family time spent together will have a very long-lasting effect. It will then become “easy” for children to become “friends” of their parents.

Conclusion

Spending time together as a family is a win win situation for all the members of the family, both adults and children. If you can think of some other benefits or if you do things differently as a family, please put  your comments in the comment box below and  I will reply to you as soon as possible.

In the meantime, have a great family time !

 

 

Regards

How to Potty Train a Child – Tips and tricks to potty train your child without stress

 

Potty training can be a daunting task especially if it is your first child. It can also be very stressful for you and your child but if you try to make it fun, it will be a lot easier. Accidents will happen while your child is learning, even my child pooed on the carpet to avoid pooing in the toilet! It might sound funny right now but cleaning the mess was horrible! I have put together few tips and tricks on how to potty train a child and hopefully it should work for you as well! Before I give you the tips you need to first know if your child is ready for potty training .

How do you know if your child is ready for potty training?

  • Is your child between the ages of 18 months and 3 years ? Some children are ready by the time they are 18 months others won’t be ready till they are 3 years of age.
  • Have they got dryer nappies between nappy changes. This shows bladder control.
  • Is there any pattern of them wetting their nappies? What is the time interval? It has to be at least 1 hour or it will be very difficult for you.
  • Does your child tell you before/after  they have done a wee or poo ?
  • Does a wet nappy make them uncomfortable?
  • Do they look for a quiet place or a corner just before they poo(in their nappies)?
  • Are they ready to sit on the potty or on the toilet using a child training seat(child toilet seat)?

If you have answered yes to any of the questions above, then you can at least try potty training them. Before you start, you would require a few potty training  items:

  1. A potty or a child trainer seat with a foot stool
  2. Few books to read to the child
  3. Cheap knickers or pants

Now you are ready to start the potty training so here are a few tips and tricks which might help you:

Keep your child involved

It is a good idea to keep your child involved in the whole process. Before you start maybe you can read them children’s books on potty training to make them mentally prepared for it.

 

 You can take your child with you when go to buy the potty or child trainer seat. Maybe ask them to choose which colour they would like. 

No Pull Ups

I wouldn’t recommend pull ups as the child will never learn to wee or poo in the toilet or in the potty. If you think about it, a pull up is similar to a nappy. It is better to get some cheap pants which you can throw in case of an accident!

Don’t get frustrated with accidents

Doing wee and poo in a potty or a toilet is a big mind shift for a child and is a part of their mental and physical development. It depends from child to child how quickly they get trained. In case, you feel there are too many accidents happening, don’t show your frustration to the child. Just put on nappies for few weeks and then try again. It is possible that your child is not ready for potty training.

Choose a convenient time

Always start potty training at a convenient time that is when the child has holiday in the nursery or pre school and you have got time off work. Preferably do it in the summer so that the child won’t feel cold while sitting on the potty and also if there are accidents the clothes will get dried quickly.

Comfortable bottoms

During and after potty training make sure your child wears comfortable bottoms like tracksuits which can easily be pulled down. You do not want your child wetting himself just because he couldn’t open the trouser button.

 

Don’t tell your child off for any accidents

Potty training is a very sensitive time for a child. The child’s confidence will go down every time he/she has an accident. So if you tell them off it will break their confidence. In case of an accident just hug them and reassure them that it’s ok and that you have to keep trying.

Praise the child every step of the way

Whenever your child successfully wee’s or poo’s in the potty or toilet make sure you praise them a lot. It boosts their confidence big time.

Potty or Child Trainer’s Seat?

This will be a big question in every parent’s mind, before they start potty training. My health advisor advised me to potty train both kids directly on the toilet by using a child trainer seat (also know as child toilet seat) that clips on to the seat of the toilet. This makes the toilet look more secure for the child.

If you use a potty then once the potty training is established, you would still need to train the child on a toilet(using the child trainer seat). So instead of doing potty training in 2 steps (that is potty training on the potty first and then training them to sit on the toilet), you can directly put them on the toilet. But it is imperative to use a small stool if you are using the toilet  seat so that the child can step on the stool and reach for the toilet. Without the stool, the toilet will be too high for the child.

Read my post on Potty Training Toilet- Potty Which Looks Like A Toilet

If Nothing Works

If you have tried potty training your child unsuccessfully and your child is nearly 3 years of age, the last resort would be to keep your child without any nappies or pants or trousers/tracksuit when you are at home so that they will feel the sensations more easily. But try this method as a last resort and only if your child is nearly 3 or 3 years.  Make sure you keep a plastic sheet on the floor or keep your child on a laminated or a tiled floor. Again, try this in the summer or your child might catch a cold.

Night Time Training

Always first focus on getting the day time training right. Once that has been established, monitor the night time nappy – how heavy is it? Depending on the child, the night time nappy would start getting lighter in few weeks or months after the day time training has been established. If that happens, you can start putting on pants on the child at nighttime. However, take a couple of precautions:

  • Make the child go for a wee last thing before going to bed.
  • Put a waterproof sheet/cover on the child’s mattress.

In case, you have any questions, please feel free to get in touch with me by putting your comments in the comment box below.

Goodluck parents!

Regards