“Parents should not be allowed to spank their children” is a headline I often see in the UK newspapers. Other countries in Europe have banned parents spanking their children, should UK do the same ? Should parents be allowed to spank their children? In case the Government decides to make this a law, will this effect parental rights? Are all parents being punished because of the wrongdoings of a few violent/abusive parents?
Please read the following before you decide if spanking is right or wrong.
Parents are the Legal Guardians /well-wishers of their children
Ask any parent how many pains they have gone through just by giving birth and even raising their child. Do parents like spanking their children? Here, by parents, I mean normal, happy parents not mentally disturbed or alcoholic or drug addict parents. Normal parents have always got the best intentions and good wishes for their children .
We all know that the amount of hardships a parent goes through, in bringing their children up, fulfilling their duties as a parent is enormous. Not to forget the financial pressures of raising them.
Parents are responsible for shaping the life of another living being
Parents can make or break their child’s life. Parenting is like walking on a tight rope, they are responsible for creating the foundation of a happy life for their child. Any or every action will have a psychological impact on the child’s mind.
Physical Abuse is different from Spanking
Surely physical abuse is different from spanking ! A tap on the bum is different from breaking your child’s bones or punching them on the face!
Does spanking help?
In my opinion , when a parent raises their hand or gets angry with the child, it means that they have lost control over the situation and in order to take charge, this seems to be the easiest option. Spanking is the way for a parent to release their frustration.
Reasons for spanking
Why would a parent spank a child ? If you decide to spank your child,you should ask yourself this question why do you want to spank your child? Has he/she done something so terrible ? If the answer is yes, then read my suggestion below on the alternatives to spanking. Whenever, my children misbehave, I always try to find out why are they behaving like this ? Is it an attention issue or something else. If they haven’t done anything so terrible, then you shouldn’t be spanking them.
Effects of Spanking
Spanking might have negative effects on the child like he/she will learn to hit others or they might hit the parent! A slap for a slap! As per my previous posts, children always “copy” their parents. From a spiritual point of view, spanking is a negative behaviour and therefore you will have negative effects of it.
If you believe in spanking, imagine this scenario. You are very angry with your child for doing something very very terrible, and you would like to spank them. Because you are very angry (out of control), you spank your child harder than you intended to … and you cause serious physical injuries to them. Then there will be only be a feeling of regret and nothing else. It is better never to consider spanking .
Alternatives to spanking
Disciplining the child, teaching them what is right and wrong is a must. But spanking is not the answer. If the situation is very heated and the parent is feeling very frustrated and angry it is best to “take time out “. Either you leave the room or tell(not ask) your child to go to their room . After an hour or so when things have calmed down, explain to your child why you were asking them to do what you did before the situation got heated.
The kids of today are very clever, they need a reason behind everything you ask them to do. If you explain and make them understand in a nice,calm, friendly way, it will be more effective than spanking.
Another way is to take all the “goodies”(favourite toys, chocolates, birthday parties, television,computer games, play dates etc.) away from them. Tell them you have to earn them back by good behaviour.
When my son does tantrums, I just ignore him. After 5 minutes he calms down because he knows it is not going to do much for him ! When he is calm, I ask him ‘why did you do this?’ If he is wrong I explain to him why he shouldn’t have done this. He listens to me a lot more than if I try to put my point across to him in the middle of a tantrum. By doing this, parents also get some peace of mind! Win the battle mentally not physically!
Also, if your child talks to you, listen and understand their point of view. If you do that, the chances of tantrums and arguments with your child will be much reduced !
I feel that spanking is not the way to take control of the situation. As a parent, we need to be patient with our child’s behaviour however bad it may be. However, I also believe that to spank or not to spank is a parent’s decision. This right shouldn’t be taken away from them just because of few violent/abusive parents.
Spanking can be a tempting option but in that heated moment it is mind over matter. Parents have to develop that mental strength to resist that temptation.
Parents have been given, a responsibility of continuing humanity by the Universe or God, which is a great honour. We have to make sure that we teach the right things to our children. Our children are the future, and we have to teach them non -violence so that their generation and generations after can have a peaceful and a happy life.
Would like to share your opinion ? Do you believe in spanking your child and why? If not, then why not? Share via comment box below.